Taco Shame. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.
- Jan. 11, 2021, 12:05 a.m.
- |
- Public
Two things you probably already know about me: I was a shift manager of a Taco Bell for over seven years, and I have had a bad relationship with my dad for most of my life.
Now, I had Taco Shame before this incident. As in, I felt embarrassed whenever someone I knew came in. Like, I remember when a girlfriend-at-the-time came in, and I immediately seized up, embarrassed. All that managerial behind-the-counter retail face confidence was gone. It’s…
Maybe it’s because they know me when I’m not working?
I don’t know. I’ve seen so many coworkers just CHAT with their friends across the counter as if working at fast food is nothing. That “shame” I felt for working at fast food? They didn’t seem to have it, nor care. And I KNOW I shouldn’t have felt ashamed, but well. Look at how much the “McDonalds worker flipping burgers” as an insult is engrained in society.
Just establishing that this feeling of shame existed before this. And again, I shouldn’t have felt ashamed. I was a frakking MANAGER, liked by most employees, trusted by my boss, and recognized affectionately by customers.
So. I think that covers the preamble.
In 2012, I went to an Aunt’s wedding. It was back when I had firetruck red hair. Knew I could only do it with short hair, as I have JET BLACK hair, and dying (long hair) frequently sounds like a pain. Dying my hair red was on my bucket list, and MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dang, I looked so pretty then.
Ahem.
Sorry if that’s too distracting. I DID look gosh daRn pretty then.
Anyway, the non-punch line. After the wedding, my dad told me something.
He said he told the family that I worked at a bank.
I’ll let that sink in for a bit.
He told the family I worked at a bank. He lied to the family and said I worked at a bank.
Like, how ashamed of me can you be?
It would have been SO easy to lie in the other direction. “Oh, he’s a manager, and I think he’s up for promotion soon. He’s really good at his job and should get his own store.” That’s it! That’s SUCH an easy lie!
Nope.
Can not put into words how insulted I felt. And still do, reflecting.
I’ll stop here before I go into tangent-city of things he has said/done that would make you go “WTF dude, treat our Timmy better.”
Deleted user ⋅ January 11, 2021
I used to work at the Bell. Back in the 90's when the bacon cheeseburger burrito was I thing. I miss them.
mrsckugs ⋅ January 11, 2021
Do you know the band Stray Kids? With your hair dyed like that, you look like Bangchan when they did the music video for back door.
Timmy™ mrsckugs ⋅ January 11, 2021
Never heard of them. Give me a good song, and I'll seed them on my Pandora, and see what happens.
mrsckugs Timmy™ ⋅ January 11, 2021
God's Menu (sounds like a Christian band, I know, it isn't I promise lol)
and Back Door. Those are my two faves.
Timmy™ mrsckugs ⋅ January 11, 2021
Gosh, the website has changed so much. I was the same kid that could rewrite autoexec.bat in single digits. It will take me some time to even figure out where the seed songs ARE. BAD GUI CONFIGURATION. Sigh.
In the words of Chief Engineer Captain Montgomery Scott, "The more they overtake the plumbing, the easier it is to stuff up the drain."
mrsckugs Timmy™ ⋅ January 27, 2021
Did you end up getting to listen?
Timmy™ mrsckugs ⋅ January 27, 2021
Negative. Have other issues right now. Though, brownie points for the follow-up.
mrsckugs Timmy™ ⋅ January 27, 2021
No worries. I hope your other issues clear up shortly.
Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ January 11, 2021
Sorry. Your dad sucks.
My dad sucks, too, although I know that is no consolation.
For me, I ask myself rather than the world, where my shame comes from. Shame is internalized over time, but it is also accurate in that, only insults that have any truth to them hurt. So, I ask myself, what is my shame trying to tell me?
I worked at a dead end job for years and I was ashamed of it. I was a manager, too. I quite and went to work literally shoveling shit at a horse barn and didn't feel any shame in that. I think it was just because, as a manager, I was not honest with myself.
Timmy™ Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ January 11, 2021
Shame is cumulative. I didn't go into how he kept saying how he wished I finished college. Even after collecting two associates, he later made an offhand comment which triggered me, and I literally walked out of the restaurant.
Sure, the societal shame is there. But gee, he didn't help.
I remember my Grandma remarking to me, knowing my job, that she assumed I'd have my own store "by now". In a positive sense. Like, that she believed in me. It's so simple and easy to be affirming.
Tux ⋅ January 12, 2021
Your dad should never have said any of that and I'm sorry he did.
AnOrangeZebra ⋅ January 13, 2021
UGH. I remember your dad.... (eye roll).....
Timmy™ AnOrangeZebra ⋅ January 13, 2021
<3 : (