So I'm home in Weight Loss Surgery

Yeap been home since sometime Monday afternoon.

The first thing I did after getting home was spill juice on my phone while I was sleeping and Kill it. So I have another Christmas present coming - a new phone!

I’ve been relying on Oxy for pain relief but they ended today - Christmas Day - so I had to see if I could manage without it and so far I’m ok.

I still have anti nausea meds and gas meds and laxatives and am still taking them because the gas is still an issue.

For some reason the gas I have is swirling at my chest and upper back and there are times when it swirls to the front of my chest and takes my breath away. I am walking and rocking and trying my best to get it out but only tiny burps come out.

I’ve pretty much been dehydrating myself out of fear. I can usually manage 4oz of veg broth in the morning and then I have a few sips of either v8 splash juice, gatorade, or bitter tea with whatever pill I’m taking at the moment.

And I carry my stomach everywhere I walk cause the belly button stitch is very sensative and burns if it pulls because of my belly drooping.

I haven’t really Done anything besides sleep. You would think that since I’m home I could get so much done, esp. work since it’s all sitting but I am tired.

I wanted to see Will’s family for Christmas eve but he was afraid to put me in the car for 45 mins with all the bouncing. His family came to drop off food and I went down to the parking lot with Will to show his mom that I’m ok. She was crying so much over the pain she thought I was in cause her daughter had a really rough time with her surgery. Now she can rest easy.

I went to my parents today for Christmas and Everyone warned Emma basically not to touch me cause she’s so rough. She squeezes real hard with hugs and she likes to bounce around. The set a specal chair just for me lol so be near the tree and near Emma.

Let me tell you - I didn’t realize how weak I was. I was struggling to open wrapping paper cause it takes stomach muscles to do.

At one point I did get on the floor with Emma to play with her but getting up from the floor was quite an ordeal. My mom was happy to see me move about but she could tell I was struggling.

They did have a breakfast of bacon and eggs in front of me but I told them to not even be sorry for me. You couldn’t pay me to eat. I sipped my gatorade and took my meds when needed. I was only there 4 hours cause Emma was due at daddys at noon.

I’ve never been alone - either my sister or father stay and sleep on the couch while Will is at work. They’re afraid I’m gonna fall and not be able to get up. I appreciate the concern but I am fine.

So once I got home I cleaned up a but and left Will’s presents under the tree cause he’s sleeping.

Today was the day, 4 days after surgery, that I had real food and a fart. You guys know I don’t like potty humour but farting is so important just to get this gas OUT.

Will was saying I should take a laxative cause I haven’t pooped or farted or anything. It’s like my bottom half is dead. I actually pat my belly like you would pat a baby to get it to burp.

So After Christmas with my family I took 1 pill.

I dunno what made me wanna try real food after that but I had one tablespoon of ricotta very slowly and the tiniest sip of a chocolate protein shake. Before this I’ve only eaten broth and juice.

have to say, after the ricotta and protein shake my stomach was flipping and rolling and I was really scared I made the wrong choice but I fell asleep soon after, just being exhausted from Christmas.

When I woke up is when I farted and my stomach feels fine - so it seems like I can handle it. So I may have more.

I know I need protein to keep my strength up so I don’t sleep the day away. I know that eating nothing isn’t going to make me lose weight. I need to eat enough healthy things so my body can remain active and not go into starvation mode. I’ve just been terrified of making myself sick.

Also I’ve developed this throaty phlegmy cough after surgery. I was afraid but my sis reassured me that is was just the tube going down my throat that scratched me up and is the reason for the coughing and phlegm.

As for the oxy - I’m glad it’s over because it was getting scary. When I took it in the daytime it kinda messed with my eyes. I would see things bigger than what they are for some reason. Sometimes I would see flashing lights in front of my eyes that weren’t there. It just messed with my space and coordination.

And ate night I would wake up because I was talking to myself, moving my arms and hands in my sleep and I would feel something, people, touching me. Like at one point it felt like someone was tucking me into bed when I was a lone and another time it felt like someone was pulling me out of the bed or kicking the bed.

I was becoming afraid to go to sleep cause my sleep would be interrupted multiple times by weird sensations.

Oh and I have to say - even since the liquid diet - my breath inside my mouth has been fucking rancid. I’ve heard it has something to do with ketosis and fat burning and I don’t know but to wake up with such an awful taste in your mouth is not fun.

So Merry Christmas. I’m 271 so far.

My highest weight was 295. My last weigh in at the office was 286. After my 2 week diet I was 274 and now after 4 days post op I’m 271. So I’ve really only lost 3 lbs since the surgery but it feels good to think that I won’t ever be 295 again. 2021 is going to be a long year of prob slow yet permanent weight loss and I really believe I can ring in the new year for 2022 100lbs less.

Oh, Will has his surgery in feb. I think feb 8 but my sis said he told her feb 22 so I dunno. I’ve been so loopy on oxy that I could have misheard him.

I know I’ve scared him - this has been rough. But he knows to get his health back - to get off all his meds and sleep apnea machine he has to do it so he’s going to do it.

Hopefully by feb maybe I’ll be able to stay in the hospital and at home with him while he recovers.

My aunt who lives alone said that after the first responders that her age group being immune compromised will get the shot. I dunno which one. She’s very excited because she’s been holed up and scared and she wants to feel more relaxed. She called Trump a son of a bitch while we were eating breakfast over zoon with her. lol. Gotta love those older relatives who don’t give a fuck.

Two farts!

I’m gonna attempt more ricotta.

I guess maybe starting Monday I’ll start putting my food into an app to see if I’m getting 80 grams of protein in, which I think is what they want. I don’t think I’ve any protein until today. I dunno how much if any that broth had.

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So in total i had 35 grams protein today from the shake and ricotta - more than any other day since after surgery. It’s not enough but I’m slowly trying to figure out how much i can handle. i cant jump ot 80 grams in one day.

But i do think the gas has subsuded alot since eating. mybe i was creating my own gas by being afraid to barely eat.

I actually had a little cry today because… I’m sad that I can’t enjoy food the same way anymore.
Will made him self a dinner of nuggets and fries and bbq sauce and it smelled really good but I would never touch the fries - not because I know they’re bad for me but because I’m afraid they’ll hurt me. And for some reason I teared up cause things I use to love now terrify me.

What I’m terrified of is that “dumping” syndrome people with gastric surgery have when they eat something wrong. And it doesn’t even have to be unhealthy - it can just strike because your body has changed now and food that used to be ok is no longer ok but you don’t know that till you eat it.

I’m very tired. It’s 7pm and I’m going to sleep.,

I don’t even have the energy to fix the typos.

I can not believe how much I under estimated this surgery. I don’t want to discourage any one - I just only now realize how serious it was and how much it’s changed my body internally.

Even though i’m eating what i can it kinda does hurt for a second before feeling ok. so every bite or sip is uncomfortable.

i know one day ill feel normal again..

Last updated December 25, 2020