Liquid Diet 10 of 12 - 275 lbs in Weight Loss Surgery

So Friday was an easy day at work. My boss didn’t bother me for anything at all! I’m surprised she didn’t frantically try to throw things at me cause it’s the last time she can for a week.

The fact is - this surgery kinda falls at the perfect time because even I get a whole week (7 days) where I don’t really HAVE to do any work and luckily not much should be piled up when I come back because it’s Christmas, no one else is really doing anything either!

AND I was thinking to myself that maybe it’s better that Will didn’t get approved as quickly as me because he’s obviously not ready.

What he has in his mind, that I don’t have, is the failure of his sister’s surgery,
His sister got the lap bad - which is harder surgery than the sleeve I’m getting - at least 20 years ago. And while she did lose weight she also had a lot of pain and vomitting.
Vomitting because she was over eating because her mother was fixing her large plates and insisting she eat it.

Now even 20 years ago, his sister was a grown woman in her mid 20’s. No one can FORCE feed you. But his mom lays on the guilt heavy when you don’t finish your plate and if I feel guilty and she’s not even MY mom, then I can’t imagine how she felt.

I dunno if his mom will try this with me. I dunno if Will will try this with me. But I’m going to stick to the diet that is prescribed to me and I’m counting on the size of my stomach not really allowing me to cheat much anyway.

The point is NOT to feel that stomach stretching full that me and Will and I guess many obese people strive for when eating. Anything less is “just enough” but not Really full. I Don’t want to feel that way ever again cause that means I’m stretching my stomach out to where I was before and I don’t want to go back there (to where I currently am).

ANYWAY I think Will watching his sister have a bad experience is what is replaying in his mind, making him second guess his choice.

Like I’ve said before, I would love Will just as much as I do now if he never got the surgery. I never even asked him to get the surgery, he volunteered to do this with me. And yes I’m a little disappointed we aren’t doing it together because I’ve seen stories of other couples who did it together and they seem really happy.

Plus I know Will wants to lose weight and do the things that his weight prevents him from doing.

But I’m not going to have a marriage shaking fight over it. If ever I push Will to do anything it ends up with me wanting to divorce him so I’m not going to bother him about it.

I’m going to do it alone.

Speaking of alone - I think I’ve mentioned to you guys that after this surgery is paid for, all my savings are going towards my house.

What house? The house I intend to buy - alone.

Yes it’s weird for a married woman to buy a house alone but what choice do I have?

So anytime Will mentions anything about a house I hint that I will be buying a house alone. That shuts him up. I know he doesn’t like me saying that. And I know he doesn’t want to believe I’ll do it.

So the day of the snow storm the TV was showing people shoveling their driveways and sidewalks and he was like “See? Look at them! If we had a house that would be us! You wanna do that?!” And I said “Yes, I do. I can buy one of those snow blower machines and I would snow blow my property and YOU wouldn’t have to worry about a thing because it wouldn’t be YOUR house, it would be MY house that I bought BY MYSELF because you won’t help me.

That shut him up again.

This is not lip service. I will save up and I will speak to realtors and I will look at houses and I WILL MOVE out of this apartment. What he chooses to do is up to him.

ANYWAY so I went and saw Emma last night and there’s lots of treats at the house. I think both neighbors got my parents candys and cookies. I think because they love Emma lol. My mom is a recluse but my father and sister are usually out in the front or back yard with Emma and have interactions with the neighbors.

So Emma was trying to over me everything and I had to tell her that I am trying to be more healthy and so I will not be having many, if any, sugary treats for a while.

It wasn’t a long drawn out discussion, I just said I’m staying away from sugar to be healthy and she accepted it. She did try to offer me things and then was like “oh I forgot, no sugar” and that was it.

Plus my sister very smartly brought our peppermint ice cream bars for dessert last night (I hate mint) so even if I wasn’t haven’t this surgery I wouldn’t want that dessert.

She made me an asian themed broth for dinner as well, which I drank while they all had meatloaf and mashed potatoes and nobody, not even Emma, batted an eye at it.

So when I start to lose this belly I’ll just tell Emma it’s from staying away from cookies and candy and ice cream and chips and all these thing.

I don’t think that’s a bad message for her to know that those things are unhealthy and can over time make your belly grow. The same way we warn her that these things can lead to cavities.

I try to be pretty sensitive about body image with her because we don’t come from a waif body type family. She will never be stick thin. She will have all the curves a woman wishes for so I don’t want to promote weight loss and thinness too much.

I don’t go around talking about how fat I am and call foods “bad” etc. I don’t want her to feel bad when eating ice cream or showing off her bitty belly, because right now she’s completely normal with no health issues. Her body is perfect and I want her to keep accepting herself as she is and not feel like any food is “off limits” or she’ll get “fat”

So just saying I’m staying away from sweets to be healthy is the best I feel I can say.

She’s too dramatic for me to mention a hospital or surgery or going under anesthesia or anything like that. She’ll harp on it forever and a day. She really naturally likes to play up the worst case scenario cause it makes for a better story lol.

Oh another thing to note. I think last night was the first time Emma saw one of those feed the children commercials where she was a baby that was basically a living skeleton in some African looking country. She couldn’t even comprehend that it was a real baby that didn’t have enough to eat. She can’t even fathom not living in a free standing home with a fridge and cabinets bursting with food options.

It effected her. And we just told her that this commercial was about people donating food and clothing so those babies get better.

By the way, I think we were just watching kids Christmas movies on the FreeForm channel when this commercial came on. I guess none of us realized that was gonna happen.

She really doesn’t watch much TV - the asshole was always lapsing on the cable bill so if they watch it’s usually online shows or movies but not regular TV fpr long periods of time with these kinds of commercials that you can’t skip.

Now it’s Saturday. I was very busy this morning.

I returned all the traps in the back of my car to everyone - I won’t be trapping for a while so I don’t want anyone lacking a trap cause it’s locked in my car.

I feed my ferals and realized one is trapped in the garage of the house. One of my cat lady friends is going to get me the home owner’s number so I can tell him to open his garage.

I went to Walmart after that (You know I hate in person shopping since CV19 but I had to get ready for this surgery) and I perused the aisles for anything I thought acceptable. I also bought some food for Will cause during the time I can’t eat, I want to make sure he’s fed LOL.
It was more of the same, more yogurt, more milk, more protein, more broth. I also got ricotta cheese. Most people eat cottage cheese but ricotta is better to me. Also beans, people puree the beans and eat them for protein. I also got diet v8 splash juice cause I saw somewhere you could eat it.

I don’t plain on starting with ricotta, it’s kinda heavy.

I found a really good YouTuber - I think he name is Whitney Wastes away. She had the sleeve this fall and really does a good job of vlogging everything. She’s not had any complications except a skin rash on her face right after surgery but it cleared up.

This is a minor surgery in terms of how invasive it is but it’s still a MAJOR shock to your system and her body reacted with a major case of red dry skin on her face and neck but it cleared up in a few days.

I’m gonna go binge watch her now in front of my heat lamp lol.

Last updated December 20, 2020