Day 28 in Daily Struggles

I didn’t realize that I was 2 days away from 30 days sober. It’s one of many that I’ve had. This time it’s going to be my last. No more 30 days clean. It’s 60 after this, than 90 and every other higher number there after. I can’t afford this kind of life. I never could. So I became in debt with it. I’ve finally gotten some of the dirt and grime off and ready to face even bigger challenges.
Babes finally came back. He’s been sober since he got home. He’s been fighting me all along to go to meetings and such and he’s not anymore. Finally agreed to go with me. There’s a meeting in two days. I’m going to pick up my 30 day chip. I hope he sticks by his word and goes with me. We’re so good together when we’re sober. We don’t fight, we’re always laughing. There are things that bother me some but not anything that I can’t look past or that we haven’t been able to work through. Sober of course.
Never when we’re not. It’s like a Jekyll and Hyde relationship. It escalates almost in the blink of an eye. I’ve also made boundaries that I’ve never made before. Some would call them ultimatums, but it’s not quite that. We have to stay sober, together and when we’re apart, we will attend meetings. I won’t make him always go with me but he does have to go. No more running when we’re stressed out or angry. I actually went as far as to let him know that I have an open ended invite if I ever need a place to stay. I don’t need him in my life. I want him in my life. But he has to stay sober. Last chance.
We shall see. He hasn’t. Moved forward with any of his promises yet, which is of course no surprise. However I also know he had been up for a few days and worked and hasn’t had adequate sleep. I’ll give him a spell. But not a long one.
Sweet dreams and Big wishes ❤️