Busy in Weight Loss Surgery

I got up around 5 after going to sleep around 1am. Should I attempt to nap - I dunno. I got cramps so maybe a nap is a good idea but it’s hard to sleep in the daytime.

Anyway this morning I just got up buzzed to do more things.

I went to Michaels to get sheets of Styrofoam to use as roofs for my feral kitty houses. They’re cheap but do the trick. Some people use plywood sheets but I’ve never bought something like that in my life. I was just overwhelmed by the thought of going to Home Depot and looking for plywood and finding the right size and will it fit in my car and is it heavy and how much.

I’ve said before I have just a little social anxiety and doing new things alone is something I slightly freak about.

BUT I knew craft stores have sheets of Styrofoam in the sizes I need for cheap so I went there. Disappointed they didn’t have green color to blend in with the hidden environment of the shelters but oh well.

I think I told you guys the shelters are up against a fence where decorative trees are planted. So I have to squeeze behind the trees and against the fence to do anything back there but I’m glad I did it. I’ve been meaning to do it for almost 2 months and every time it rained I felt guilty for the kitties.

The roofs are further protection from rain getting in there. It’s kinda extra but those poor kitties have so little, you know?

Emma’s school is having a clothing drive so what I did - in anticipation of my surgery - is bagged up everything that I feel will be too big by next summer. There’s a few things that are too big for me right now so I know by summer it will be a blanket. I also just got rid of some things I don’t like or are too tattered. Shoes I don’t wear. Even tablecloths - I never use them, they’re just taking up shelf space.

I don’t think I’ll have to buy a new wardrobe because so much that I currently wear is already on the tight side so they’ll just for me better. I did buy some new pants before I found out about the surgery so that was kinda a mistake but I’ll just donate them eventually.

So 2 more bags of shit out of my house. My house is so cluttered.

And again, social anxiety got me all freaked out and nervous cause I’ve never been to the school before and I was THE FIRST one there so I didn’t know what to do… I got through it.

I went to CVS and picked up all the scripts the doctor prescribed me and Will AND I got 2 gift cards - one for my aunt and one for his uncle. We never know what to get his uncle. All he does is watch sports, play lotto, and eat unhealthy. That’s literally all I know about him. And they don’t like him gambling or eating bad and I know shit about sports. I got him a Door Dash card LOL. Same for my aunt so she can buy food and not leave her home - she lives in NYC.

She actually LOVES to leave her home during the pandemic but I got her a gift to keep her at home LOL.

Me and my sister got crafts to do together someday but we had to pick them up. So I picked up mine today. She got her earlier.

I went to the supermarket for litter. I’m kinda nesting for my surgery and I want to have extra for the time I may be sore.

I also went and picked up traps from the garage just in case I trap tomorrow. I asked if I’m trapping tomorrow and if I should pick up traps and no one fucking answered me so I just picked them up.

It would serve them right if I didn’t and then when they ask me to trap I say NOPE cause I didn’t pick up the traps because no one got back to me in time.

I am free all day today but they don’t know that. So it’s kinda rude to answer me back hours later to tell me to get traps not knowing what I have planned for the day. Maybe I was asking at a certain time cause that’s the only time I have to get them.

I don’t understand people.

God what else did I do today.

Now I’m home - cleaned a bit, doing laundry. So I can’t actually nap now any way. I may even do too loads.

I think I’m kinda scared about this surgery. I’m scared about getting it and I’m scared about something happening and me not getting lol. And I just have a buzzed nervous feeling,

Plus I don’t really like that when I told my boss about my surgery she was like what about your work - it made me feel pressured. And I’m going to do my best to get it all done on time despite the surgery but like fuck, you know.

It’s the end of the year and a busy time for us it’s also important to my finances that I get it done this year. I told her that. I’ve spent more on doctor’s bills than ever in my life during these last 6 months and I don’t wanna throw that all down the drain.

I’ve already had my 2 shakes, yogurt, and milk for the day. It’s 130 pm

I don’t want to have an egg today cause I had 2 yesterday.

So the rest of the day it’s pretty much broth and water.

After my laundry is done I’ll see if my sis wants to bring Emma over. If not maybe I’ll make the trek there if my cramps are under control.

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I feel like i eat so much that when i can’t i just think about how hungry i am and get mad.

I don’t even want BAD food. But can I eat??? I’ll take a salad!!

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Vegetable broth saved me.

Emma And my sis did visit eventually for a few hours.

They cat rescue lady got back to me at 845pm asking me to get traps. I asked her this morning if i should and She didn’t answer me back for 10 hours. She asked me for a favor and then when I tried to help her she doesn’t answer me back for 10 hours?

Are you fucking serious. I told her i can trap at 7 am and answers me at 845PM the night before? Less than 12 hours notice?

I already got traps but she doesn’t know that.

I haven’t answered her.

Im Gonna trap but I don’t feel like answering her back at all.

Why do I feel bad when I’m rude or spiteful but no one else seems to.

Last updated December 21, 2020