Liquid diet - day 3 in Weight Loss Surgery

It’s midnight, I’m up.

Work was… I didn’t feel like working.

I was going to do a short visit to my mom’s for Emma cause I was gonna ride with Will tonight since I can’t on Saturday due to maybe trapping on Sunday.

I had told my family this but just as I was leaving today Will said he’s going too far and won’t be returning home so I can’t ride with him.

I could have stayed at Emma’s all night but my period started so I left at 830pm as if I was still riding with Will just to be home.

Everyone (but Emma) was looking at me with sad eyes cause I couldn’t eat their dinner but my sis made me vegetable broth so I had some of that hot in a mug and just told Emma I had a tummy ache.

And when she had her ice cream I just declined.

What was thrown in my face tonight was how much I SNACK at my mom’s house. They Still have Halloween candy. They always have chips. And I usually snack alone. So it was hard not to steal away and eat a snack like I’ve done for YEARS.

I went home and watched Hamilton by the light of my tree, alone.

I was cramping and thought I couldn’t take midol during the month before surgery cause it would thin my blood but then I read somewhere I Could have it so I took it but I can’t take any meds on empty stomach so I ate another egg.

Im only allowed 1 a day but fuck it.

I didn’t finish the movie cause then I got a bug up my butt about the inside of my coffee table being a mess and actually made an organizer out of one of the many Amazon boxes i have lying around. Maries Kondo style - or whatever she’s called.

I just sat on the floor cutting up boxes with a knife in the middle of the night.

I can’t sleep when I’m hungry.

Maybe I soothe anxiety with food. Maybe I soothe everything with food.

So yesterday I had 2 shakes, a cup of milk, 4 oz of yogurt, a sip of apple cider, a cup of veg broth and 2 hard boiled eggs. And that’s actually more than I’m supposed to have!!

Im also noticing how much all the Instagram food things I follow trigger me. WHY do I follow so many bakeries??? LMAO.

Im gonna try to sleep now. I do have a buncha errands I want to do tomorrow And since Will won’t be home I’ll invite Emma and my sis over for a visit.

I feel like not eating has given me energy but it’s like angry nervous energy cause I really want to relax with something good to eat!

I’m such a baby.

Last updated December 20, 2020