I finally have time for tarot in just testing

Lol
I got up an hour early so why not

Animal Oracle - 9 - Brown Bear - Impatience leads to frazzled thoughts. Take time out to mediate, relax, refresh, imagine, plan. Be clear on your next goal before working towards it. You have plenty of time. What is yours will always be yours.

Self care Oracle - 36 (3+6=9) Movement - move however you feel empowered. Relish your miraculous body.

ACE PENTACLES - a gift from God coming to me, Giving me Sanctuary and Stability through New work projects./opportunities.
8 PENTACLES - Me feeling Stimulation, being active, having Motivation and Momentum. Happiness found while perfecting my craft. Maybe getting some Training. Doing my best.
6 WANDS - Having Determination after a Victory. Having Pride while watching not to become a know-it-all.
ACE WANDS - a gift from God of Expansion of Creativity through Hard work. I will need fortitude and to Watch for burn out.
FOOL - Facing all this without a care in the world. Taking the leap.

I didn’t have a question in mind - just looking for advice. I am a little worried about the changes in my job (people leaving) and the extra work but of course this could be an opportunity for me to shine and that could lead to a raise in the future.

The one thing I really feel like I know is that my boss the director and her boss the VP do see me. They like my attitude and they see I work hard. I believe they know I’m deserving of a raise or bonus. I just don’t know if it’ll come this year due to the CV19 mess. But if not this year, everyone will be due something special next year.

In other news,

I had a small discussion in my notes last entry for anyone who wants to go back and read them.

But yes, my sister and her husband didn’t think it was right to tell Emma that they were getting a divorce. They told her they were moving from their home but I don’t know that they said why and I guess she was too young to ask.

When they told her she was going to live with her mom and gma, she was estatic because they spoil her, take her places, treat her special. The dad’s gma is super nice to her too but she’s had knee problems a long time and is a cancer survivor so things were less exciting at her place. More slow and calm.

They told Emma daddy couldn’t come with because he needs to be closer to his job but she would still get to see him.

Emma does have an inkling that daddy and gma don’t like each other…

And that’s the world Emma is living in. Thinking her parents still love each other but just live separately.

And I think if Emma had the chance to go to real kindergarten, maybe around mother’s day or father’s day it would come out that mommy and daddy don’t live together and some kid would introduce Emma to divorce.

That’s not the way I wanted her exposed to it but I assumed if the whole family had to keep it a secret that someone outside the family would say something.

I had told my sister early on that they should be honest. There’s lots of kids shows and books that can explain this to kids at a very young age.

Or maybe my sister could enlist the help of a therapist that could tell exactly how much a 5 year old could handle.

OR maybe they do a family session with a therapist where the therapist explains and Emma could get any questions answers.

There was many ways to do this. But she never asked for my opinion. I sure gave it but she won’t follow.

Her and the asshole have different reasons why they won’t tell her.

The asshole just considers her a “baby” that doesn’t need to know about adult issues.

My sister lives in fear of shattering Emma’s world. Emma lives for Disney princesses getting true love’s kiss from a prince and living happily ever after. My sister is terrified to ruin that with the reality that sometimes happily ever after can fall apart.

She doesn’t want her to know she’s a “divorce kid” yet.

My mom didn’t handle her divorce with us well either so I’m surprised that my sister is following in her footsteps. You would think she would try to be different. But you can’t tell my sister anything.

They are keeping this a secret from Emma until the very last minute where it has to be exposed.

What I told my sister, a while ago and recently, is that the main reason that it might have to be exposed is if the asshole gets his gf pregnant or proposes. If a baby or marriage is on the way the Emma HAS to know that her parents are divorce.

But say the asshole gets the news that his gf is pregnant or he decides he’s going to propose. The information of Emma’s parents divorcing and then the information or daddy getting married and/or having a baby will be pretty close together and that will cause confusion and worry and just general instability.

That will mess Emma up more than just finding out that her parents are divorced.

And what about when she’s older and realizs how long they were divorced before the let her in on it?

My sister says she’s not going to tell Emma anything on the “what if” chance that the asshole takes things further with his gf. She is steadfast that she won’t tell till maybe Emma is 7 or 8 because she figures her maturity level let her understand better.

What also sucks is that the asshole still rules things and while at this point he doesn’t think Emma should be told. If he wakes up one day and thinks she Should be told my sister will roll along with it. But if my sister was of the mind that Emma should be told and he said no then she wouldn’t tell Emma.

And she tells me that things have to be jointly agreed on once divorced but it never works out that way cause she will always follow his lead and he will never go along with what she wants.

So if she wants to tell and he doesn’t, she won’t break the rules and tell. But if he wants to tell and she doesn’t - sure as hell he will tell Emma and my sister will just be like “oh well, what could I do?”.

She just bends over and takes it. Or maybe a better analogy is she just lets herself be bear hugged and takes it.

It infuriates me, physically burns me up internally. But I’m in not place to say or do anything. I have to namaste it away. I have to let it go.

And I know in the end everything works out so whenever Emma does find out it will be ok but I just feel like my sister and her asshole ex husband are making it harder than it needs to be.

I feel a lot for a situation I’m not directly involved in.

Last updated December 09, 2020