Silly, I guess in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

  • Nov. 20, 2020, 9:24 a.m.
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So I came into the office today. The only reason I did so was because I anticipate a defendant coming in to sign papers “at some point.” Otherwise, I’d be home. Because today is all about “Planning for next week and next month” which involves a lot of “Either I cut you an insane plea deal now; or we wait until next year to severely drag down our trial docket and your client waits for months and months and likely doesn’t get probation anymore because probation is the standard right now but will go back to normal whenever COVID lifts.”

Fucking… COVID limbo. At least now, selfishly, I can celebrate in the knowledge that now everyone is getting a taste of what it is like to live in a Rural Community. Nobody to see. Nothing to do. No movie theaters, no shopping malls, no window shopping walks. You just stay home and get everything via the internet. Yup. Welcome to Iowa Rural Life, folks!

As to Victoria? I’m noticing some very Nancy like things lately. Which makes sense. Remus and Essen are convinced she has undiagnosed unmedicated ADHD. And even Victoria is starting to see it. For example… what kept her from getting into it with me on Wednesday? Tik Tok. What has Remus been calling her out on for being addicted to all week? Tik Tok. What is one of the first things she shared with the group chat today? Tik Tok vids. It is 8:30 in the morning. She’s gotten her kids up, driven her son to school, and is feeding her daughter breakfast. I asked how long she’d been scrolling through Tik Tok this morning before sending us those vids.... her response was “only thirty minutes.” I’m not going to judge her on whether that is a lot or not. I’m only going to judge her by saying (knowing her day) if she got 30 minutes of Tik Tok in her first two hours of the morning while working with her son and daughter? She’s almost certainly going to hit 3 or 4 hours today. Minimum. Now again, I’m trying not to judge. I am not a mother of two children. It is not my place to determine how she should spend her time. But… it just seems excessive. And from the perspective of watching Nancy sit down with a cell phone game and suddenly losing six hours? It is definitely something I am sensitive to. And if Remus is already trying to call her out on it? I get it.

This, then, begs the questions and comparisons. Nancy: Attracted to me, told me up front, got bored somewhere along the way, almost totally asexual in our marriage. Victoria: Attracted to me, told me up front, got bored somewhere along the way, is truly hypersexual.
So I get it. I need to get myself to a healthy place where I can approach women I find attractive and withstand the series of rejections that marked my youth. As apparently the women that come after me simply see me as some interesting diversion until they get bored.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN STORY SPOILERS FOR CNTRLALTDEL OR QUESTIONABLE CONTENT; IF YOU DO NOT WANT DETAILS ABOUT THE STORIES FOR EITHER OF THESE WEBCOMICS PLEASE SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU SEE THE GRAPHIC DENOTING THE SPOILERS HAVE STOPPED

I started reading a new webcomic. Well, not new as it comes from just after I graduated High School (2003) but it is new to me. CntrlAtlDel (2002), definitely has a similar feel to it. Questionable Content follows an awkward indie-music guy as he and his live-in robot pal navigate life, romance, and bullshit. CntrlAltDel follows an insane video gamer and his roommate (and eventual live-in robot pal) as they navigate life, romance, and bullshit. It is different enough that I won’t claim “copy cat” but I can absolutely understand if any fans were screaming that at either series.
All of that being said? There are elements of each that hit me differently in the romance angle.

I started reading CNTRLALTDEL probably around 2005 or 2006. It had two character romance arcs. The main character interacted with his upstairs neighbor, they started dating, they fell in love, they got married, they had a miscarriage… all very good with bits of silly, lovey, and tragedy. All starting with “interacting with the upstairs neighbor.” So while I had a lot of envy, it didn’t connect with me. The main character’s roommate Lucas on the other hand… that connected with me. He had gotten out of a really bad relationship before the comic started, and was trying to get back on the horse. The first girl he dated was a Stage Three Clinger. Like after one date, constant phone calls, massive mood swings, major issues. After a while, he decided to try dating again. This time, it was a fairly cool semi-gothy adrenaline junky. Turns out, she mistakenly thought Lucas had inherited a bunch of money and was trying to set up their adventure dates so he’d have an accident and die. So obviously, that didn’t work out. THEN… he signed up for a dating service but had no luck. The robot roomie matches him and sets up a date for him with a “cute face, huge body” type. Lucas is surprised when the woman comes to his workplace for their date (he’d not been informed) but goes ahead and goes on the date. Enjoys it well enough but is definitely not attracted to her. She “goes to get comfortable” as he’s trying to figure out how to kindly exit… and she comes back with a totally different (much hotter) body. Turns out she is in makeup and special affects and does the First Date in the Fat Suit to really get to know a guy. They have issues and go up and down; but ultimately fall in love, get married, and have a baby. Again the “successful relationship” coming as a complete fluke, out of the blue, with pretty much no effort by the guy to start it.

Then there is Questionable Content. This one starts a little bullshit, too. Main Character and his friend are at a bar. Main Character checks out a girl that is very much his type. She approaches him and starts a conversation. She says that there are no romantic or sexual entanglements but she’s new to the area and could use friends. BOOM. Main Character has a female friend he is attracted to because she approached him. But then we get to the really relatable panels between him and his barista. I’ll simply share them here
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(In between this panel and the next, the attractive female friend’s place burns down and she moves in with the Main Character. Again… what? huh?)
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See… that barista arc? That I totally buy as someone who has found himself in similar positions. But then the Coffee Shop Boss is some hot Goth girl who’s all sexually active and open and starts crushing on the main character. So now, he’s living with a girl he was checking out at a bar who works for and is friends with this Goth Woman who wants him. I mean… arguably, I know things like that happen but… I’ll just say… add another log on the fire that is “Get the fuck out of Iowa. Go be a waiter in Denver or a Wage Slave in Seattle or something!”
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Not to go too emo here but I was listening to a song (now on my FB share) and there’s a line that says
“If I forget to set the alarm
And sleep on through the dawn
Don’t remind me
I’d rather be dreaming of someone
Than living alone”

And it… just really hit hard today for some reason.


Last updated November 20, 2020


Ellen Ripley November 20, 2020

Yes, I live in the middle of nowhere, and....not much has changed for us, really! I can't imagine how city people are coping, particularly when so many people in urban areas live so crowded-together. I'm sort of a bit glad I left the city before this all hit, but I can appreciate how HARD this isolation is for so many people.

caramelchicken November 20, 2020

Sounds more like addictive traits, although that could be part of ADHD. Either way, not great. I'd be concerned about how much time she's spending on mindlessly scrolling through TikTok videos too.

DE_KentuckyGirl November 21, 2020

Tiktok seems to be super addictive for those with ADHD. My 15 yr old grandson literally will lay on his back all day long and watch it. He is super irritated to be pulled off of it for any reason and will rush through his school work and chores with great exasperation and then rush back to his phone. He has ADHD (and mild autism). My nanny kid has ADHD. His whole life revolves around Tiktok. I imagine it appeals to their short attention span. 60 seconds is the longest video. So you have an ever changing stream of content every 15-60 seconds. An ADHDers dream (or nightmare). Ans people with ADHD are super short on dopamine, so this (and probably the hyper sexuality) allows for dopamine rushes since ADHD brains produces less than normal people. It's also probably an escape for her too. Lost time is an ADHD trait. And yeah, while these are addictive personality traits guess what? ADHD brain is an addictive prone brain. Cuz....dopamine.

I watch tiktok. I like TT. It's entertaining and I find fun stuff on there snd even some informative stuff. But I can put it down. I can pull away and am not drawn to it. It doesn't keep me from getting shit done.

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