Perplexed in Current Events

  • Nov. 8, 2020, 2:30 a.m.
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Is self-reflection intrinsic or is it developable? That question has been on my mind because of the way my sister’s boyfriend is behaving online right now. Narcissism is suddenly an unredeemable quality to him. He’s actually a pathological narcissist. I would even go so far as to say that he could be a sociopath. I don’t know what his character was before his addiction but it was sociopathic the way he used and hurt anyone to get his fix. I think he was left conditioned to be this way. I lived with him while he was literally insane. The narcissist abuse, financial abuse. I never forgave him for the way he treated my sister and for the way he used my family. He came out of it blaming the drugs. That failure to develop a higher concept of personal responsibility is why he keeps relapsing. It’s also why he thinks others are responsible for him. He thinks the world is cruel to him but that’s his karma. His life is the result of his character and choices. It was around this time last year when he almost died because of his liver. He would have died thinking the world did that to him. I had to fight against some pretty dark thoughts that I had about that. I want my sister to leave him badly but not that bad. If he needed half of my liver that would have been a tough call. I agree that narcissists are not redeemable. It’s so perplexing to me that he is failing to see that he is actually a pathological narcissist. Do I tell him? That’s a rhetorical question.

I can’t shake the feeling that his posts are pointed toward me because he’s been too afraid to share his weak political opinions lately because I undermine them. I think a lot of people are feeling like they’re going to be free of having to experience someone rejecting their opinion now so he’s lashing out. He would want to be pointed toward me because I am the only one that he can’t get control of. He’s in covert narcissist mode. He’s soaking up all the positive attention and sympathy that he can get. His smear campaign that I am mean to him stopped working and his gaslight attempts don’t work on me and it eats him alive because narcissists are deeply insecure and deeply codependent that way. I’m not going to lose sleep over it but it just randomly comes to mind. His post:Take that haters! That was his response to the announcement of the US election results. What haters does this guy think he has? The world is not out to get him. Then he goes on the usual superficial diatribe about Trump’s character. It’s a pot calling the kettle black moment. His acting innocent makes me feel some type of way because I do think he is not redeemable. I just wanted to get that off my chest lol.


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