Meh. I ended up staying in last night. Which was just as well because it was rainy and cold and nasty out and I couldn’t imagine wanting to sit out on any patio last night anyway (not doing indoor dining). I got a couple of nice phone calls which felt almost as good as being with friends in person and then let myself drift off to sleep.
S.S. sent a text last night saying, “Sorry we didn’t get to meet up tonight. Hope you had a wonderful birthday”
I didn’t answer that until this morning.
But last night it made me think about some things. A few of you noted (paraphrasing) that if a man wants to pursue something, he will overcome any obstacle to make things happen. And I agree. In fact, I’ve had that before. I shouldn’t do this, but I go back to SexyPants, who’d leap over tall buildings for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about that. SP simply Made. Things. Happen.
From our very first date, that man made me feel like absolute royalty, and I think that’s why I was so in love with him. He flew in from another city to take me out on our first date. And then he ended up changing his plans for a few days so that he could take me out a few more times that week. He was somehow so skilled with knowing how to make me feel special - sending flowers, calling on the phone, planning every date, sweeping me off my feet.
He was the King of the Grand Gesture.
One time, I was flying home from a business trip. It was a long trip through many different cities in Asia. I had one last layover at LAX, where I had several hours to kill before hopping on the red eye back to [my city]. SexyPants flew to LAX from wherever he was, took me out to dinner, and then flew first class with me on the red eye as we drank champagne and snuggled under a blanket together, then took me to his house and tucked me into bed so I could sleep off the jetlag.
I mean, stuff like that, you know?
Now, I’m not saying that every man should be a SexyPants. In fact, SP ended up not being the right guy for me anyway (while he treated me like a princess, he also treated ALL women like princesses, if you know what I mean).
So that’s the other thing. Maybe it’s not that a GRAND gesture is required - maybe it’s something in the middle between a huuuuuge expression and a wimpy, wussy, passive wet-noodly type of offering.
How hard is it, when you insist on taking someone out for their birthday, to make a date, set a time, make a reservation and then follow through? How hard is it to not make the other person pick the place or figure out the logistics? How hard is it to pick up the ball and run with it?
There. I wrote it out. Now I’m going to let it go.
Here’s to gestures big and small (but definitely not to none at all),