• Oct. 3, 2020, 2:50 a.m.
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  • Public

“Life is short. Why hold grudges?”

I’ve heard that from a lot of people, quite often already. My best friend Hazel Eyes is one of them who thinks so too.

Don’t get me wrong, okay? I know what that means. Holding grudges is like consuming poison on purpose but you wish for someone else to just suffer and die from it.

However, most people tend to accuse me of holding grudges so easily. Well, that’s not really true. I admit that I tend to talk back when somebody offends or insults me, especially in public. I have to defend myself – or people may not respect me. They may think it’s okay to say anything they like about me or trash-talk to me.

Sorry not sorry, people like that need to learn – even the harsh way. It’s not like I yell or spit out curses (well, at least not that often anymore.)

However, my cold, scathing response is still good enough to slice hearts and bruise the ego. Basically, that’s how I shut people up without telling them to. I have to fight clean and elegantly.

Unlike some people in Indonesia, I’m not a big fan of UU ITE (Undang-undang Informasi dan Transaksi Elektronik – or The Laws Regarding Information and Electronic Transaction). I find that seriously biased and vague. If somebody insults me online, I can either face them one-on-one or just ignore them. No lawyers are needed. Not only because I can’t afford to hire one at the moment, I just find the matter unworthy of my time, energy, and sanity these days.

No Wonder…

Because of this, some people might probably choose to talk about me behind my back. Some have even spread lies about me, but that’s okay. I don’t have to clarify anything with them. This also applies to those who somehow choose to believe the slanderers instead of asking me first.
Thankfully, I have three (3) damn good reasons why I choose to ignore the likes of them:

  1. I’m too busy with my life.
    Well, that part is almost true. These days, no matter what, I try to keep myself busy. My mother once said those who still have the time and energy to badmouth other people obviously need something else more important to do.

So, I don’t want to be that kind of person too. That’s why I choose to keep myself busy.

  1. I don’t deal with sneaky, manipulative cowards.
    Obviously, those who talk behind your back are too afraid to say it straight to your face. If that’s the case, then why bother? Just treat them like they’ve never said a damn thing about you to your friends or anyone who know you.

Besides, it’ll be useless to confront them head-on or call them out. First of all, they could simply deny it. Secondly, after denying it, they might also twist the fact to make sure that you’re still the bad guy here to everyone’s eyes.

In short, they’re not worth it. Let them live with their short-sighted knowledge about you.

  1. Their insecurities are not my responsibilities.
    I believe I’ve never done them any wrong. If I have, then they should tell me. I’m not a freaking mind reader. It’s unfair if you ask me or expect me to always guess how you feel. Be reasonable, please. Don’t be utterly childish and selfish.

I don’t need this kind of drama, really. I’m not responsible for anyone’s insecurities. Not everyone has to like me and I’m fine with that.

However, if they expect me to read their minds and change myself just to please them, then sorry not sorry. I only change for myself.

The same thing goes for other people who choose to believe in my slanderer(s) instead of me. Don’t worry, I’m not angry. I’m not going to attack them all for doubting me.

I’m just going to stay away from them. In other words, I leave it all up to God now.

At least, I know who my real friends are.


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