So I had read bookmarks. Skipped existing on-line for pretty much Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Now there are 97 new Bookmark Entries to read! So… that’ll be a slog.
As stated two entries ago, I did not attend work on Friday. I slept instead. Saturday, I had intended to do great and wonderful things. And slept and did SOME good work around the house in anticipation of visitors. Sunday… slept, got woken up by my visitors at the door, and entertained almost the entire day. It was fun. Monday… slept. Played with the dog. Cleaned the house pretty well. Then turned my attention to THE ROOM dilemma:
You see… I figured if I could at least get one of the non-main bedroom rooms figured out than I might feel better. But the problem is too big. I know I want to return the upstairs guest room to a guest room. Bed, wardrobe, nightstand, reading lamp, tv, blu ray player, et cetera. Doesn’t sound like anything to create a problem. EXCEPT downstairs, I have a large bedroom that isn’t getting any use and currently has some of that stuff. I had originally designed it as a guest room for if/when couples came over and wanted to give them a little privacy by not having their room sharing a wall with mine. BUT that room is too big to just have a bed and bedroom stuff. SO do I want to move the bedroom stuff upstairs and try to figure out/re-design the basement room or do I simply have TWO guest rooms and then try to figure out how to make the downstairs guest room better by using the space more intelligently? And if I do keep the downstairs room a guest room; do I want to turn the upstairs guest room into a Full Bed, Single room (as it was before) or do I want to get a queen size bed in there and have it sleep multiple people? OR do I go full hotel and bring the queen bed upstairs but then buy two full beds for the downstairs so that I could still sleep as many people but without requiring folks to share a bed? And of course while trying to decide on those rooms, I have another empty bedroom (very much not empty, filled with Nancy’s crap) that I have ZERO IDEA OF WHAT TO DO WITH IT!! And of course, I should probably honestly consider selling the house; I mean what is a Single Guy w/Dog going to do with a 4 bedroom house… but my next door neighbors are already trying to sell their house and getting NO WHERE on it so I wouldn’t expect any better… besides Nala, Nancy, and I like the house and would love to keep me and Nala there so this “boo hoo, I don’t know what to do with my house” problem is really actually a stupid one anyway. And you could always just RENT ROOMS OUT, but that would not only be an investment in time and money but as a County Attorney it would be really difficult to get a tenant that I could actually trust; so really that idea is a non-starter anyway.
And by the time I finish with that anxiety fueled and anxiety inducing thought process, I’m tired and in a bad mood. Then I check my phone and… of course… even despite telling her “So, I have some mail for you. One says it is from the IRS” (which is true) I haven’t gotten a single reply from Nancy on anything I’ve sent her. NOTHING.
So now it is late Monday night… I’m filled with both depression and anxiety. SO I’m in that brilliant place where I can’t sleep but I’m tired. And then the weather starts changing (as predicted). 88 degree days over the weekend… Tuesday is 53 for a high and rainy. Massive barometric shifts. So Tuesday (today, now)… I’m tired, in a great deal of pain, and really in just a foul mood. And at work. Where we get to deal with the fun chaos and bullshit of everyone ELSE’S life. Like… one of the Domestic Violence victims that kept begging for me to lift the No Contact Order and let her man come home (we refused because “he continues to show signs that he’s a threat to you. I hear you that you aren’t afraid of him; but we’re trying to keep you safe.”) WELL, he broke down her door and beat the shit out of her over the weekend. Good call on our part… for all the good it did. This and more is my fantabulous day at work.
Then tonight? Tonight Victoria and Remus and the kids are coming over. And bringing a friend of theirs and her kids. I doubt this is a romantic “Hey, what do you think” kind of set up… more likely this is a “Chris needs friends and his dog needs kids; let’s introduce you and Nala to some of our friends” kind of situation.
Then tomorrow? A scheduled phone call with my parents then Remus is driving me to a You Don’t Know Jack (masks required) party. I’ve really been missing Pub Quiz and while the bars ARE open… I’m not going. Nobody is wearing masks and going to a small room filled with people not wearing masks is a Germ Vector in the best of times.
Then Thursday? A scheduled Roll20 game with friends on the East Coast.
Then it is Friday and the weekend and then back to work and the cycle continues.
I mean… don’t get me wrong. It is nice to have these distractions. Friends coming over. Friends taking me out so I don’t just sit at home all the time. Friends keeping me occupied through virtual gathering technology. It’s a nice distraction. But it all feels like Bubblegum for the Soul. It burns time, gives a micro-mili-attogram of substance but… it doesn’t nourish. And that’s such a shitty thing to say. I mean… all of this is.
People’s homes are burning down, we’re in the middle of complete economic decay and political collapse. Hurricanes, starvation, eviction, death, civil war. The world is crumbling. And I’m here sad about having a house with too many rooms?? Being in pain and depressed when I have an entire week of activity and fellowship lined up? Jeez, I must seem like an arrogant prick here.