Why am I anxious? in My life....I can't make this shit up!

Right now I’m sitting in the Publix parkinglot anxious as hell. I meet with the Paralegal at 10, and she is less than 10 minutes from here and my stomach is in knots! I don’t understand why. This is something I need to do for myself and Cameron. I need to do this for Brian. I haven’t had a conversation with my estranged husband since 2008.
I had a brief conversation with one of the therapists in my office yesterday, and she brought several good things up. I never allowed myself to fully heal from the relationship and as long as I’m married to him we’re connected. I hate all of the thoughts and feelings that have bubbled to the surface, like they were just hanging out the last 12 years waiting to torture me again. Hopefully when the ink is dry it’ll get better.