So… today was busy hectic stressful at work. I was planning to go home, walk the dog, eat food, do laundry, read a book, and go to bed. But when I got home?
I saw that Nancy had visited the house to take away the rest of her clothes. Now, she had mentioned she would be doing this. In her last communication to me. On Thursday. Right around the time where she (finally) signed the Separation Agreement. But that’s just it. No communication from her since Thursday. Meaning, no response to my proposed schedule for when to file for divorce. No response to my proposed schedule for when to go to the bank since we both need to be present to sign on the dotted line. No communication whatsoever. Including no communication for when she entered my house, removed things, and left. Not even a hand written note on the counter saying, “Grabbed my stuff! NK” Nothing. Which… first of all, sends the insecure man in me right down the path of “Is she trying to avoid me?” But second of all, sends the slightly paranoid man in me down a path of “You need to communicate with me if you are going to enter my house.”
So I was fighting off the urge to text her either of those impulses and I started laundry. As I was putting it away, I realized that Nancy had also taken her jewelry box which usually sits on our wardrobe. She had gone through it to remove anything she thought was mine. 2 rings that haven’t fit me since college, silver cuff-links from a wedding, a Claddagh ring which now barely fits on my pinkie finger, my wedding ring. But also? Her wedding ring. And I don’t know why but… that hit like a punch in the gut for some reason. Like… she didn’t consider it HER ring to keep and do what she wanted to with it. She decided to leave it behind and make dealing with it no longer a part of her life. And… I don’t know, blame my over-active mind and penchant for the romantic… it just felt like a message. Like she was saying, “I’m leaving this relationship behind. It held no special value to me nor any room in my heart. TTFN. Bye!” And I know it is simply 1 woman who doesn’t like jewelry leaving 1 item of jewelry behind but (1) it was done intentionally; (2) it is one of the only pieces of jewelry I ever gave her; (3) it feels like another symbolic reminder of her actions during this entire issue. She didn’t care that much, she was able to replace me quickly, thanks for taking care of me until now but I’ve got somebody else, k-thanks-bye. And I get that I can’t make somebody feel a certain way but… she was my wife for 9 years. You’d think the relationship would have meant something to her. On some level. And… yeah. That’s just where I am on that tonight.