Difficult Conversation in My life....I can't make this shit up!

Last night Brian and I decided to have the difficult conversation of Cameron’s biological father with him. Short Version: my exhusband shook Cam when he was 3 months old. It was the most difficult time in my life. That was 12 years ago. By a miracle Cameron has no serious effects.
I met Brian was Cam was 4. It was love at first sight for me. I knew immediately I was spending my life with this man. Since day one he has been a Dad to Cameron.
Cameron has never asked about his biological father, so we just kept pushing it off. But I have decided to (finally) start the process of divorcing him. Yes, it’s been 12 years since he abandoned us. I have a list a mile long of excuses as to why I have not done it yet. On top of the list was fear. Fear that I would have to talk to him again. Fear that I would have to let him talk to or see Cameron. Fear that he will take my baby away from me.
The night before last I woke up from another nightmare where he has come and demanded Cameron go somewhere with him and I never saw Cam again. When I woke up I had this uncontrollable need to find him on facebook and research how to get this process started. I found his facebook page and sent him a message asking for his address so I can send him paperwork. That was at 5:50AM yesterday morning. I still have not recieved any answer. I don’t think I will.
But since I reached out to him yesterday Brian and I thought it would be a good time to have the conversation with Cameron so if (and that’s a BIG IF) he wants to speak to Cameron, Cam will be able to make that decision for himself.
Cameron took the conversation very well. The two biggest questions he had were 1) “Do I look like him?” And 2) “Why would someone do that to me?” Yes, you do look like him (but thankfully more like me!) and I don’t have an answer to question 2. I don’t know that I will ever have an answer.
It was about a 2 1/2 hour long conversation about the events after the shaking, the investigation, and him leaving us. Cameron said he does not want to be a (insert last name here). He would like to be a (insert my maiden name) or (insert Brian’s last name). We told him that whatever he decides we will respect.
I have to say, we were quite pleased with his reaction last night. He said he has no more questions, and I told him if he ever has any questions he can always ask and I will always answer truthfully. That boy is wise beyond his years. I’m so lucky that we have him! <3
Today, I need to print out the divorce paperwork, but there’s too many people in the office. I didn’t get in early enough today because I had to pick up Cameron’s computer laptop and books. If I can’t do it today I’ll wait to do it first thing in the morning.
Fingers crossed this is not a super painful process.