God Has Spoken in meh...

  • Aug. 15, 2020, 8:31 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

That’s something I tend to say at the outcome of something.

My children’s other grandmother passed away from having COVID-19 about 2 hours ago. My daughter called me I’m guessing after she found out. That’s another funeral to go to. She talked about me behind my back, but she was alright. I hate to hear she’s gone.

As of late, when people have passed away, I keep quiet. Someone’s death is not about me or how I feel. It never will be. I go through this scenario like, I’m supposed to tell a story about where I was and know the exact time and date it happened. Like trying to take note of anything that happened that would spell it being a harbinger of what’s to come. I am overly dramatic.

I pass along my prayers for comfort now.

A friend I made on OD a long while ago. I stumbled across his page and he was so down in himself. I started talking to him. We became friends. We were thick as thieves internet style. We emailed conversations. He is cool. He started dating a woman that I was suspect about. He was crazy about her. I let him have it. When it blew up, he said no more women. Ok. We would virtually sit on a porch swing with pop rocks, vodka and other stuff. We would swing and not say anything. I put my head on his shoulder and we just chilled. Huckleberry. He and I rarely speak these days, but he is special to me. He had been in a relationship for a long time since the last one. I thought they would be wed. I mean they were engaged. Within the past few weeks, maybe month, time moves so fast, they split. This left him homeless and with not much money left.

He was hurting and had been posting what seems to be his life story. He didn’t really finish it. Two days ago he said these are his last words. He went on to say God was a myth and some other stuff. I asked him what he meant by that last words stuff. What he said to me lead me to believe he is planning to kill himself on Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday. This makes me grieve. I said to him that I will pray for him regardless if he believes in God or not. He called me an Angel. He always says that he will never forget what I did for him. I still don’t know what I did. I told him I love him forever. He asked me to be at peace with his decision. How can I be at peace with someone planning to kill themselves?? I just popped off of this entry to tell him that I never pegged him as a giver upper. If I knew where he was, I would call police or someone to find him.

I was supposed to go out and celebrate my sister Tippy’s birthday. It’s actually tomorrow, and we were supposed to go out last night too. Tonight they are out, but I’m not there. We are going to go over baby sis house and have a “party” there. Or at least that’s what the plan is. Tonight, I can’t.

Take care my lovelies.

Kindest regards,

Deleted user August 16, 2020

Nothing like armed police showing up at your front door makes it a lot easier suicide by cop

Sister Deleted user ⋅ August 16, 2020

Just a welfare check, but I don't know where he is. His ex probably doesn't care to know. Nothing I can do.

Deleted user Sister ⋅ August 16, 2020 (edited August 16, 2020)


I mean if he's talking about it then he probably isn't going to kill himself it's probably just for attentionn cuz people who are going to do it and have made up their mind generally just do it however since he doesn't seem to have a chronic illness or debilitating disease I agree that he's just giving up and he should just deal with life like the rest of us. On the other end if he was dealing with some horrible disease or cancer then go ahead and do it because the permanent solution to a temporary problem doesn't really apply there and for the fact that I've watched two people die of cancer because of the laws in this country not letting them just take their own lives and leave peacefully I have a little bit of a varied opinion on suicide - Corpse, LCSW

Sister Deleted user ⋅ August 16, 2020

I believe you. Wasn't disputing. Just clarifying myself was all.
His words were, "I got enough money and a place to stay until Tuesday. Till then me and Buddy (his dog) are gonna live the good life." Said he was at peace and then asked me to be at peace with it. ::shrugs::

Deleted user Sister ⋅ August 16, 2020

Wait he's going to kill his dog too?

Sister Deleted user ⋅ August 16, 2020

I have no idea. He said something about he's got things all in order. Maybe he's giving him to someone. smh

Deleted user Sister ⋅ August 16, 2020

I certainly hope he's giving the dog to someone else

Deleted user Sister ⋅ August 16, 2020

I don't know what state you're in but as long as his name isn't John Smith or something super simple and you know his date of birth you can probably find him public records are public records

Sister Deleted user ⋅ August 16, 2020

He was last living with his girlfriend. They broke up, she put him out and I'm guessing she hasn't looked back. He's west coast. I'm midwest.

Deleted user Sister ⋅ August 16, 2020

Oh okay I thought he was a lot closer to you well hopefully he'll figure it out or at least get the dog to a safe place

Sister Deleted user ⋅ August 16, 2020

If I were closer, I would be with him, so...that's about it.

Telstar August 16, 2020

OD-type friends...………

Can be good...……. or bad.

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