Sad in just testing

Last night... Or early this morning when Will got into bed he was like ' you should be proud of me, they asked me to work this Sunday and I said no cause we have plans '. I said they shouldn't even be asking you, that's not you're schedule, but thank you ' and he said ' but I'm working next Sunday... '

Before I could protest he was like ' we need the money '

... Que me turning into a rock, rolling over, no words and trying to go to sleep.

He cuddled up to me and I was so FUMING mad.

Fuck money, we're doing fine, I have my own plan to be done with my debt in December. I don't need or want him to do this. I never see him!

When he got this job, it's annoying I don't see him all week but at least we had weekends. Now that's not even guaranteed anymore.

And if I explain to him that I just want his TIME he basically care. He just thinks about paying off my debts.

I get it but my opinion should count. And it doesn't.

So I had a frozen pizza slice at 4 am and went to sleep on the couch.

We have no plans today. I was gonna make stuffed peppers, give him sex. Today was gonna be a good day.

Now I'm pissed. But being pissed wont change anything. I feel like I should just ignore it and make today a nice day but inside I'm so pissed and I want to be spiteful.

If he doesn't care about time with me I shouldn't care about time with him. I can go out with friends or to my parents house. Why should I sit home and be with someone who doesn't care about me?

You could argue that he does care cause he's trying to build up our savings but her already does that m - f. How about building up our relationship with quality time on the weekends?

After my frozen pizza I looked up my ex on fb. THE major ex of my life: Ricardo.

He's joined a gym. Imagine if I was with him right now. Id have a gym partner. I probably wouldn't be married tho cause he's broke. He works at his brother's clothing store and "produces music". I put that in quotes cause I barely know what it means or if he even makes $ off of it but at least he has a passion that he Makes Time For.

Our problem was that her didn't make time for me. Working for family made him 'on call ' all the time and then there was his music...

I'm not saying Ricardo is my perfect match or that I'd ever do anything. But Ricardo does have some qualities I wish Will did.

I'm sure if I was with Ricardo it would be a whole new set of problems anyway.

I would never contact him. Don't need that can of worms.

Will's up. I still don't know what I wanna do with today.