I went out with friend/coworker after work yesterday. I’m still not too keen on being out in these COVID streets, but it gave me a chance to hang out with someone grown that I’m not related to.
We talked and she kind of got to know me. I keep up walls. I don’t want to because I don’t want it to be used against me. I want to be vulnerable. I want to cry. I want to be soft and not so on edge. I want someone to care for me, take care of me because my life has been all struggle and I feel kind I’m disposable. I can’t tell anyone how I feel. I want to be able to and feel like they care. They don’t have to do anything about it. Just be there to talk me down and let me cry. You know?
We were talking about dating. Neither of us are seeing anyone. I’m not seeing anyone I can actually do anything with. A total waste of 10 years.
Oh I don’t know. I had all this stuff I felt like I wanted to write about. Now it just got lost somewhere. Gee whizz.
Ok then I’m gonna go.