25rd in Hey, buddy, got a light?

“Am I paranoid, Jedi? Jealous?”
What? What happened now.
“That girl next door, I think that was her boyfriend who was staring at us.”
I don’t care, I don’t live there, it isn’t my issue.
“You think I make her feel uncomfortable because I look at her? I don’t mean too, I’m just sprung; she’s cute.”
She’s pretty plain to me but ok whatever I’m your dumbass virgin friend.
“Porn’s ruined you, dude, she’s pretty cute as far as like, normal regular girls go.”
You get sprung too easy, watch, I can google ‘tits’ on my phone and not be all salivating and sprung like you. Watch, I’m you everytime you see ANY fat/fugly/ho looking girl:
‘AH DAYUM BABY, I GET YO NUMBER? AY! AY! AYYYY! AY GIRL! AW WHAS GOOD, SEXY?’
It’s great you have the confidence like that, but jesus christ, you’re a short black guy, ok?
“Why do you keep saying ‘short’?”
Because believe it or not, that matters. No matter how ‘fitted’ you are, sometimes that wont be enough. How could you think “There isn’t enough alcohol” wasn’t an insult lmao
“..She could’ve meant it like, theres not enough for both of us.”
You know that’s not what she meant, fuck
“I can’t be alone like you, man, I need a girl, I’d treat her right, all that shit.”
“How do you do it?”
Hahah, a girlfriend would just get in my way. Look, what the fuck am I going to do ‘Hey, wanna hang out with me at my grandmas house? I don’t have a tv but we can watch it in the living room or stream on my laptop.’
‘Ok well what’re you going to do, I’m gonna jerk off and shitpost on forums, you can stay if you want.’
“I don’t know, man, it’s fuckin 2020, I think theres someone out there for everyone and I wanna find mine sooner than later.”
Good luck.

I’m at the old house right now, getting ready for work.
Take care.