It’s that portion of the program where I want to get up and start moving around the world while everyone is still sleeping.
I woke up when it was dark and when I went back to sleep (which I was surprised it happened) I had a dream that kind of shook me.
I got an alert on some social media or by text that my kids were in an accident an had passed away. They were together for some reason. The “alert” was like a news article and while it didn’t say their names I just knew it was them. I was walking around, in true me fashion, hurting and I didn’t tell anyone because I just knew they were going to show up, but they didn’t. This went on for…maybe days…a week. I went to see my mom and she looked like her old self. She was in a nursing home still, but she was thin again and her hair was long and styled. She was in her bed when I told her and she was devastated. And I told her that I just feel like they are going to come walking in at any moment but I know they aren’t and I just broke down.
Flash forward to the part where it seemed like I was homeless or I was in a place where homeless people go and hang out, like waiting for breakfast or something. I had a grocery cart and this part of the place looked like a store. In front of me there was no wall…???…and it was partly outside and there was a beach and a street. I would get up and move around every so often because if “they” see you just sitting around the place could be in trouble. But I still kept thinking about my kids and I kept looking at this alert and I kept being devastated at the loss. I went to start moving around and wanted to hide in the aisle with the coffee, but there were men over there smoking and had music playing, and I was like nope because of social distancing. So I started walking around and then I saw my kids uncle (their father’s brother) walk in. It was like he came to visit the place on the other side. It was like a gym/school area but it was still connected to where I was. Kids and families were on that side. There was a toy boat but it was big and flat that the kids could sit in it. And Bubby Sr. was with me now and he got on the boat and I pushed him in it while he was playing like he was rowing. He picked up something and put it in his mouth and I snatched it out and said, “That’s nasty. People have been touching on all this stuff. Keep it out of your mouth.” Then he looked at me and said “Are you gonna tell me now what happened?” I don’t think he knew about his uncle or mother, just that he hadn’t seen them.
So I went to my phone, which wasn’t a phone anymore…???…but this thin sheet that looked like a dryer sheet. It was wet and delicate, but you could see this purple-ish, lavender, lilac colored looking heart and then I pressed it…
…it was also then that a text message woke me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I hate that so much.
So of course I have been combing the dream meaning webs. The one person that I want to ask will give me a biblical meaning behind it and it’s usually spot on, but lately she kind of been on some crackpot stuff, but I will leave it alone.
I mean I could ask my dad. But he hasn’t been able to talk to me about the last thing yet. Lol
So yeah. That’s all for the chronicling today.
Be safe and take care everyone.
Love to you all.