Better in Weight Loss Surgery

I forgot to mention that I did find a peaceful place yesterday.

I FINALLY remembered a park with a track and fountains to looks at - as well as ducks.

I actually got lost finding it first and ended up on a wonderful drive - like the kind you see on car commercials through a forest.
It was a 2 lane road at 25 mph - the trees were large and dense, there was moss and logs and just prettiness. Even though it was sweltering at 5 pm I opened my windows to smell the forest. It had a great smell.

The I found the park and sat on one of the many open benches. I was worried about everyplace being crowded but there were many open benches, all with views of the lake (man made or something - I dunno I put a pic on insta - and ducks. I watched the clouds roll in and my sister called just as the down pour came.

I got a little wet but made it to my car.

She had a phone meeting where she and the asshole and some court rep talked for 3 hours - but it wasn’t the mediation?

She said the court rep told them they needed counseling because they could barely talk to each other without being angry and going off topic. The court rep said that co parenting will be impossible with all this anger AND even the court rep said the asshole was being ridiculous in some of his comments to my sister! Which is such a bonus that outside people see him for what he is! Of course I believe my sister but I’m glad that totally bias people are seeing it!

She said she did try to broach the 5 day her / 2 day him schedule and the asshole would not agree. There’s still time for that to change.

She DID say the one thing they got squared away was holidays and birthdays. He agreed to joint birthdays, which she really wanted - he didn’t so I don’t know why he agreed.

Then I got home and Will did his sorry ass apology and I kinda just sat on the couch with him until he had to go to work and then at like 8 pm I took my depressed ass to bed. I literally dreamed about candy.

I took the metformin today. The diabetes meds. I know I said I didn’t want to but Will’s blood sugar has gone way down and he’s losing weight too and … I felt so out of control with my eating I thought, I can’t do it on my own.

When I go back to the doc in August, they may test me and I was afraid my blood sugar would be worse than when I was first diagnosed. So I caved. I surrendered. I took the pill. And I plan on taking the pill from here on out - I guess until the surgery this winter. I keep trying to do things on my own and failing…

Otherwise today has started out to be a good day because I had my training session with Teach! I dunno if I told you guys but after Teach broke up with the BF she said she wants to get her body back in shape.

She. Isn’t. Fat. but she does want abs.

So my training friend said she’d give her a free session with me and that was today. We both we worked hard. I hope Teach becomes a regular client.

After that my trainer asked me why I haven’t send my food logs in a while. I told her it’s because I’ve been eating like shit and embarrassed and I told her about the fighting that’s been going on.

She encouraged me to get on the scale after my shower. I did and I’m back to 277!
Actually I gained 4 ounces but you guys know I went all the way back up to the 280’s at one point and that’s when I began avoiding the scales but maybe that was my period - I dunno but I’m back in the 270’s and I feel so much better!!!

I’m gonna write another entry about my sister.

Last updated December 20, 2020