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So, the battle has begun. She has retained he attorney. I received a text requesting the name of my attorney and a very sterile reply providing her attorneys information. I guess it’s better than the threats over received over the past few days. She came home and took the kids out to get doughnuts. When I got home, she was very smug as she walked around. She acted as if she had done something that was going to teach me a lesson. My attorney has our motion drafted and is preparing the final version. She has already shown me her hand. She is going to attempt to paint me as a verbally abusive husband that forced her to give up on the marriage. My issue here is everything I have read about verbal abuse would point to a consistent pattern of behavior. That’s just not the case. In fact, I would argue that it much more closely fit her pattern of behavior. I was a jerk at times and you could argue I made comments that were verbal abuse, but to argue that has been the majority of our interactions would be disingenuous. The fact is I made my life devoted to my family. I was supportive much more that I was a jerk. It’s her defense. It’s her way of trying to justify her actions. The reality is that she will have a hard time bringing people in to show a consistent pattern of behavior and painting me as a verbally abusive husband. I have texts that counter her argument. I have pictures that show our life together. I have people that she cares about very much that would gladly provide their perspective and would be willing to attest to our interactions and my character. It’s so stupid. The reality is that this thing is going to get ugly.

Today there was a sign we had hung on the wall. I asked my son why it was on the floor. He said mommy took the nails out of the wall to put my ring camera back up. He watched her rip it off of the wall and he said she had to superglue it back in place. She said her attorney said it was acceptable to unplug the camera when I’m not here. She also said it’s her attorneys position that I’m not allowed to change the locks. My attorney disagrees. She had changed the address on our joint accounts, she has made her intention clear. She hasn’t slept here in nearly a month. The fact is she has abandoned the house. I’ll let then talk and then I’m changing the locks.

I wonder if she told her attorney she is shacked up with her boyfriend? I wonder if her attorney knows she has 3-5k of expenses from her affair on her credit card? I wonder if she knows I can place her and him together in DC on her work trip or that my wife has admitted to sleeping with this guy to my sister? I started this journal as a way to put my emotions into a place rather than dumping them on her at the time, but it actually documents everything that I have known, as I have found it out and how that made me feel. I would argue that it supports that I have tried to be the loving husband that identified where I needed improvement and how she have manipulated and lied to me through the entire process. I get nervous, not because I feel I am wrong, but because so much is at stake. My kids’ futures will be determined by these two attorneys and a judge. I don’t honestly see how anyone could see the facts of this situation and truly believe she is in her right mind.

The truth is I still love her and I wish we didn’t have to do this. Her decision to be attached to a convicted felon has placed my children in jeopardy. The fact she told me that he bought my son a birthday present shows me that she intends on letting him into their lives. I still don’t understand how she can look at this situation and think her actions some how make sense. She repeatedly betrayed me. DC, Arizona, bringing him to NC. The threats of having me charged with fraud for just obtaining an attorney. Telling me there’s nothing I can do about her boyfriend being around my kids. The sudden leasing of the house then turning around and getting under contract on a different house? It’s just not rational. She is flying by the seat of her pants. How about the fact she told me I coils keep the equity in our house if I signed the form.

Verbally abusive.....the more I think about it, the more I think that’s a stupid position. I’m the one that was constantly called lazy and selfish after working 50-60 hours per week. Giving up 25% of my weekends for the Army Reserve. When I would say something about going out with the guys, I would get told I was selfish because the kids haven’t seen me and I needed to get home. She’s admitted to me multiple time that she has never believed in me. She never encouraged me to strive for more. Verbally abusive is a strong word, and doesn’t accurately reflect our situation.

I encountered her to get her Masters degree, I encouraged her to got her job. I helped her gain the confidence to ask for more money when she get her job. When she said she wanted to stay at home with the children, I was completely supportive. This house, I didn’t want buy this house, but it was her dream. I feel I continually pushed her to chase her dreams and I’ve tried to give her whatever she needed to make it happen.