Happy Birthday in First entry

Today is my son’s birthday. I may over lap a little from my previous post, but after tonight, I need to reflect. I woke up and got ready for the day. Had my coffee and Bible time. She came over about 630. She wanted to push me on the paper that she wanted me to sign. I told her once I understood my attorney’s reasoning, I would provide her an answer. She withdrew money from her retirement account. If I sign the form I waive the rights to that money and with assets are divided that money is not taken into account. Thus I would owe her even more in the settlement. Ultimately it’s a protection on me.

So, I had a meeting with my counselor at 8am. So I woke my son up at 7am so he could do his birthday scavenger hunt. He was sleeping good, but jumpped out of bed once I explained what’s going on. So he opens his presents. He was super excited and I was incredibly proud when he gave away a pack of Pokemon cards that came in a set to my daughter. It made her morning and he wasn’t even prompted.
I had to leave and I drove down the road for my session with the counselor. I didn’t really know what to expect from counseling, but I somehow set my own goals for it. My goals is to work through this experience and have my heart ready to either work things out if she wants or if she never returns, I can work through this pain and betrayal and have a successful relationship. I’m not sure how going over everything helps, but I will find out.

So I get to work. This is an area that has been crazy. I requested to step down, but honestly all that has happened is that I have stopped traveling down to the jobsite. Most of my days are filled with phone calls and trying to get things handled with the attorney. Whatever happens I can lose my job. Anyways, so my wife calls me and is just yelling at me. She’s asking I am enjoying watching everything on the camera. I was working. Not a damn clue about what was happening on the camera. This is were my kids got into an argument and she told my son she was going to throw away his birthday presents. He lost it. Again, im.seeing him grow more emotional. He is hurting. He is lashing out at her trying to understand why she isn’t there. She doesn’t get it. They are yelling back and forth. My dog gets riled up bites my son. She is calling me trying to put spin on it that’s it’s my fault. She said I need to get rid of the dog that attacked our kid. I have a buddy at work that has already offered. Again, I live the dog, but it’s gotta go. She tells me. She’s unplugging the camera. This is her house and she won’t be spied on. Blah blah blah.

Then i told her I wasn’t signing the paper. I explained why. She called 5-6 times. I was busy. Finally I called her back. She did everything, she offered to give me the equity in the house. She offered to sign anything I wanted. She said I was being vengeful and hateful. You name it, she was trying it. I finally had had enough. I pointed back to every step of betrayal. I went through that she has a whole credit card filled with costs from her affair. I told her to tell her new boyfriend to fix it. I love her and if she wanted to return, we could work through it. I don’t want any of this. But, as long as she is with him, they are not my priority. My kids are. W go in circles for a while. I go back to work. I leave early from work because we have someone coming to look at the truck and something is up with the door panel. They didn’t buy it.
Well then we have dinner as a family. I can see the kids are so excited. They love mom and dad and dinner. My wife is pissed. So angry I can feel her disdain. This is where I was looking at her and she gave me the middle finger..after dinner she gets a text, tells my son she loves him. She is going to leave so he can spend time with me.

She asks me outside and says that if she puts the money back, would I be willing to sign the form. Tell her I’ll consult with my attorney. She has a meeting with her attorney today. She keeps.trying to.makenme spend.my money asking questions. I think she needs to get her own attorney. She can get questions answered. I’m finished trying to accommodate her.

So the rest of the night was good. I’m making great progress on my daughters hair. I can’t believe it ever got that bad! She played Pokemon and the new fortnight pack downloaded that we bought him for his birthday. Finally it is bed time. They are getting ready and my son starts talking about a remote for some lights in his bed. He is crying and crying about this remote. All options aren’t good enough. Finally, he slips and says something about mom. I realize this wasn’t about a remote. I stop and call my kids over. I climb on the couch and just hug them. I tell them how much I love them and I’m always going to be there. My heart was breaking because I have felt the pain they are feeling. We finish getting them to bed and by some miracle I see the remote upside with pushed back. I talked to my son and explained the mommy love him, she just is dealing with a lot right now. He was crying again. He said mommy promised she would put him to bed and stay the night. I remember she told me she was going to be here from.when he got up until when he went to bed too. I’m sure there was an emergency somewhere. The problem is the kids are as blindsided as I was. My wife and I would argue, but it wasn’t constant. They will have the same Disney World memories as I do. Filled with love. They don’t get it. It breaks my heart. This is what I had feared the whole time. Surprisingly, it is only galvanizing my desire to protect them. It only reinforces that my wife isn’t putting them first. I’ve tried and tried to tell her the damage she is causing. She blows me off. For me to believe that my wife somehow thinks she’s a victim in any way disgusts me.