Decade... in Deeper Bits (Emotional and such)

  • June 29, 2020, 10:12 p.m.
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That’s how long I’ve been here. It was official yesterday. And now it’s time to get the fuck out of here.

Gov’ner Dimslee has mandated we all must wear masks when we’re not solely alone. Apparently Dimwit has never had to have a garage door spring replaced. I have to move around A LOT. Up the ladder, do something, down the ladder, move the ladder, up the ladder, do something else, down the ladder, move the ladder… you get the jist of it. Which is also why I’m considering getting drywall stilts to do some of my residential service work. I end up breathing heavy. And I need to get a good deal of fresh oxygen into my lungs each time I inhale. That’s difficult to do when I have to wear these damn masks. My hot breath from the exhale makes the next inhale not very helpful. And, like today, I either have a customer that is up my ass the whole time, or is prairiedogging it, so I can’t take it off in case they pop back out and I have both hands occupied, ya know, working. And it’s getting warmer here now. I think we hit the 80’s. So mix sweat in with hot breath around this stupid fucking mask, yeah, I feel like I’m suffocating half the time.
At least I work alone 90% of the time, so I don’t have to wear one when I’m in the van. I get in, lock my driver’s door (cause some idiot customer surely will walk up and open your door around here.) and rip that stupid mask off.
And I have to wear one when I go into our office. You know what the penalty is if you forget your mask? A misdemeanor. I about lost my shit when I read that little tidbit in the handout our boss gave us this morning.
Have I mentioned I severely despise Washington state?

Oh… OOOOHHHHHHHH… but here’s the kick in the pisser for you. Yeah, we have to wear masks and stay 6+ feet apart, but the protesters can go out in droves onto the interstate - without the REQUIRED permit for their “protest”, and Dimslee will shut down the interstate to protect them. Someone did finally get pissed off with this idiocy and drove around the barricade and nearly took out a few of these dipshits. Who ever you are, my hats off to you.
We have got to STOP. CATERING. TO. STUPID. PEOPLE. If you’re going to play on the biggest interstate highway in the area, you’re fucking stupid, and you deserve the consequences of your actions. Period.

And don’t give me your sob story about “we need change” blah blah blah hippity hooplah. They aren’t protesting at this point. They aren’t demonstrating at this point. Their message has been completely overrun by all the bullshit antics of the other groups who are hijacking this shit for anarchy. And if you can’t protest without causing damages or completely clusterfucking the area you’re protesting in, your message, your demands, whatever, are automatically invalidated. You wanna protest? You wanna march? Then march your ass down to city hall, pay the $75 for the permit, and have your protest or march by the codes and ordinances put in place by the city, and stop fucking things up for those of us who have to go to those areas for work. I actually feel sorry for people who have to live in the areas that are getting overrun with this bullshit. Never mind. No I don’t. They’re just adding fuel to that spectacular dumpster fire anyway.

And this whole removing of history that offends them.... Jesus fucking shitfire. Erasing history isn’t going to undo everything that’s been done wrong in the past. It doesn’t change the fact that white fuckers back in the day decided it was a good idea to bring over black folk from Africa, beat the shit out of them, treat them like shit, and work them to death. That’s never going away. That’s never going to be forgotten. Wait, yes it will, cause they want find it offensive and triggering and want to get rid of the reminders of it. Yeah, y’all keep playing into that divide and conquer agenda that the government has, and you’ll be back to being a slave without ever knowing it. The people who are content to be on government assistance, you’re already a slave to the government, and you don’t even realize it.
That’s what the city of Seattle wants. They want you dependent on them, so they can do whatever the fuck they like. Wake the fuck up people.

Obviously I’m an opinionated asshole who has no compassion or empathy. Whatever.

I’ve lived in one city or another all my life. Remember how I said I broke 3 “don’t” rules when I moved here, moving for a girl, to the west coast, near a big city? Yeah, I’m realizing the bigger the city is, the worse it is. I want to go home. I want to buy my house in the woods, outside of a small city, where this kind of bullshit is far less frequent, and have a quiet life. I’m done with this shit. I’m so done. I’m sick of the shitty people around here, unfriendly, buried in their phone, and up their own ass. I’m sick of the traffic. I’m sick of stupid oblivious drivers. I’m sick of the politics. I’m sick of policies that make absolutely no fucking sense. I’m sick of having no privacy in my yard. I’m sick of there always being noise around here (subwoofers, ricers, sport bikes racing, big trucks, sirens, etc) that I can hear every time I open a door or a window. It’s always something. And I think that’s part of the problem I’m having. I have Asperger’s (high functioning autism), and I’ve learned I do sometimes get overstimulated by the noise, and it does definitely drain me. I can’t recharge here. I can’t recover here. I can’t heal here.
Cities are bad, m’kay.

I’m not usually this much of a cunt, but I’m to the point that I’ve just had enough of all of it. Maybe I should have hit this point sooner. I don’t know. But I’m started packing. I’m already looking at houses in the part of Texas I’m from. I’m already taking steps to leave. But I think I already left a couple years ago. This place just makes me angry. Even the beauty of this area is completely lost on me now. This isn’t home. It never really was. I came here for the wrong reasons, and I guess enough dumbfuckery needed to happen to make this place repulsive enough that I would actually pull the trigger and go. I won’t deny that I’m a bit nervous about this. Buying this house was relatively easy, as it was one town away, I didn’t have to sell a place to buy this one (rented an apartment), and I didn’t have a house full of stuff- some of which I inherited when my grandma died which I will NOT be getting rid of- to move, plus actually having to move the 2,500 miles to get home. I’m not sure how to do this. Being alone this time doesn’t help. But it’s gonna have to get done. If I stay here.... it won’t end well.

Speaking of ending, I should call it a day. The cat is bitching at me to feed him, and I’ve been pounding this into the keyboard.... then backspacing and pounding some more, for about an hour and a half. I’m tired. Fuck it all.

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