The Last Monday of June 2020 in Reconstruction

  • June 29, 2020, 7:04 p.m.
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Today is shaping up to be a fairly mediocre day. Couldn’t sleep last night, which obviously sucks. Didn’t get Nala as much exercise as she needed yesterday which also sucks. Honestly, the dog is beautiful and loving and is very dedicated to her pack (when we were visiting Victoria, when I’d get up to go to the bathroom, Nala would cry as she was worried I was “leaving her there”. Nala is very much into people in general but knows who HER people are. But she has such high energy needs. I can’t be doing 2 hours of walking and an hour of playing every day. And the Doggy Day Care available in this county? If you pay extra, they’ll give the dog a 15 minute walk. If you pay even more, they’ll play with the dog for 15 minutes. Otherwise.. it is just Nala in a kennel. So local doggy day care is a no because I can stick Nala in a kennel at my house for free, thanks. Just… something I’ll have to consider.

As for today, though? Bah. Had 5 hearings scheduled; after two hearings where the extent of my involvement was saying, “We agree with the DHS report and recommendations, your Honor” and then the other 3 were cancelled. And I have no hearings on Tuesday or Wednesday. So my next three days (other than putting out fires) will be exclusively puttering around and preparing for things to come. And… they’re coming sooner than I think they should to be honest. Iowa’s COVID numbers are going back up. Our county alone had 4 new cases over the weekend all of them being in the 18-40 age demographic. And our County Courtrooms are scheduled to reopen in 2 weeks. Other states are re-instituting closures; we’re removing the very last restriction. Because… and I will never understand or forgive on this issue… we’ve made Responding to a Pandemic into a politically divisive issue. But that’s where we are today, apparently! Should we try to keep the planet healthy or try to actively kill it? Should we listen to medical experts from around the globe about a disease or politicians? Should we honor our soldiers or actively not care? Should we work for the betterment of our country or only the betterment of corporate profits? Some of the stupidest divides have been during 45’s moronic and dangerous tenure.

After work; I’ll do my usual. Walk Nala, play with Nala, do some yard/house work, eat dinner, Facetime with East Coast friends. Go to sleep to repeat steps tomorrow.

Reflections on Therapy Discussion:

The truth is the idea of “not liking myself” or even just… living a life of service without taking care of myself… is evident in almost every action. Even something like housework. When Nancy (wife) was living in the house, while it would upset me that she was home all day and didn’t do any house work… other than the negative emotion, it was far more easy for me to have the motivation to do the dishes and cook food. But if it is just for myself? Even if it is something I find important or worth while? I often just… don’t have the motivation and don’t do the tasks. Doing for someone else makes sense. Doing for myself seems… pointless. Especially in the current setting! I could at least trick myself/fool myself into thinking that I have to do certain things in case of company. That’s always a good shortcut. I can’t let my dishes take over the kitchen because what if company comes over? But that doesn’t work anymore. People aren’t popping over to my place any time soon and, even when there are scheduled and confirmed plans to have visitors… that falls apart.

On the other hand though… I do have a massive ego… or at least a severe degree of snobbery involving the abundant plethora of inexcusable idiocy I see in the world today. Which is an interesting “other side of the coin” to the cloying apologetic self-hating part of me. But both in my job and due to the nature of things in the world right now… I see an infinite amount of immeasurable stupidity that makes me angry and upset. So really right now… that’s where I’m balancing. Self-hating, apologetic, diminishing… or ravingly furious at the stupidity of others.

Purple Dawn June 29, 2020

What about a maid who would take your dog for a walk during the day after she tidies? You could probably get one for 2 hours a day?

hippiechica15 June 29, 2020

That really sucks about the doggy day care. I'd see if you can find a dog walker who would come to your home and walk her. Even a couple times a week would be a good thing for her, and you!

As for taking care of yourself: start with doing one thing consistently for yourself. I felt very out of control in my old living situation, and one year I decided that I would change my sheets every Sunday. I love having new clean sheets, and it's both a good habit AND feels like you're important to slip into a fresh made bed to begin the week. It's crazy how much a difference that made to my self worth. This goes along with the whole "make your bed every day" school of habits. It seems silly but it mentally makes a difference.

I would cook for myself regardless of being coupled or alone, but I fall behind on dishes WITH someone who is willing to help me with them. Cut yourself a little slack! You're trying, it's ok.

DE_KentuckyGirl June 29, 2020

Wow!! The doggy daycares around here are kennel free and the doggos play all day long! Another point for big city, I guess?

Just Some Girl June 29, 2020

Hmm, doggy daycare here is very different from what you have available; kennels are not a thing. What about:
-PetSmart? (As far as I know, their doggy daycare is just a room where the doggos all hang out together...)
-local high school / college kid to walk her a few times a week? (preferably one with a mom who can take over during the school year)?
-do y'all have dog parks nearby? would Nala get anything from that?
-what about things like agility training? There are lots of tutorials online for fun things you can do with your dog... I used to recommend this to owners a lot if they were overwhelmed with their dog's energy.
-is Nala part working-dog? if so, she may just need a job; have you tried puzzle feeders, treat toys, stuff like that? What about a stuffed & frozen Kong to keep her busy?
I'm going to poll my vet pals and see if I'm missing any other ideas that might help take Nala down a notch or two...

AppleGirl June 29, 2020 (edited June 29, 2020)


Will Nala run instead of walk? Like would she chase a ball? I have a VERY high energy dog (my oldest one), and he has to RUN to be worn out. We throw tennis balls and he runs up and down the stairs playing fetch for about 15-20 minutes a couple times a day (on a good day) - this works better than any amount of walking.

Park Row Fallout AppleGirl ⋅ June 29, 2020

She does love chase games and a little fetch. But silly thing doesn't get tennis balls anymore because she skins them.

AppleGirl Park Row Fallout ⋅ June 30, 2020

We go through a tennis ball a week - figure it's a small price to pay for not having to hike 10 miles a day. ha! He likes the broken down ones the best, go figure.

Down the rabbit hole... June 30, 2020

I would definitely check out dog walkers. There are some apps to find local ones in your area with ratings usually. Also might be a good idea to have someone come by once a week for basic cleaning. Or if the dog walker doesn't work out I'd recommend a second dog... I have jack Russell's (so super high energy) and they keep each other entertained for hours. I don't walk my dogs, they just spend the day playing in the house or the yard. They have plenty of toys and I throw balls for them sometimes, but generally they wear each other out and having a pack mate would probably help with Nala's separation anxiety. If you aren't sure, you could always foster first and see how it goes.

As far as covid... in Nashville they just opened bars back up a week ago and over the weekend numbers spiked by 350 in a 24 hour period and these idiots are still pushing to keep stuff open but making masks mandatory... sooooo stupid!

Down the rabbit hole... June 30, 2020

Wag, Rover, etc...

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