AF in Weight Loss Surgery

Turns out I get to throw the seafood out too.

He said he and his sister requested that his mom basically just steam the seafood and they’ll eat it with butter. That’s how they like it.

They requested this because their mom usually makes is Spanish style with oil and onions, etc. That sounds good to me but they like the taste of seafood so much they prefer it plain.

Well their mom made it the way she always does and they just had to eat it. She also gave us a ton to take home.

Mondays Will is off so I usually WFH. I hadn’t planned anything for dinner cause I figured he’d eat the seafood from Sunday. Well he told me at home - he didn’t dare say it at his moms house and offend his mom - that he didn’t like how she made the crab and lobster. I guess in his eyes she basically ruined it because it tastes nothing like the fresh real taste of plain crab and lobster.

They all pitched in and he gave them $200 or $300 dollars towards it. And she still did whatever she wanted.

That’s how his mom is. She does what she wants and then gets mad when you’re not grateful. Like how she made the cheesecake and served it when I said no and then got all whiny asking me why I didn’t like it when I didn’t eat it.

Yes genetics play into someone being fat, and his mom is fat and diabetic, but also this pushing people to over eat is the reason Will is fat. I swear it. I’ve been with Will over 10 years and they are always asking her to serve them less and she fills the biggest plate of food for them anyway and then gets offended when they don’t finish the entire plate and want seconds. She’s even trying to fill their plate while they’re eating so its like they’ll never be done.

I understand it’s how she shows love. It’s the same way Will brings treats into the house for me when I ask him not to and gets offended when I ask him not to. But her kids are both over 300lbs and unhealthy. It’s like she’s blind to it.

It’s annoying but not intentionally mean. It’s done with love but wrong.

So I guess I’ll toss it all out soon. Like straight to the dumpster. I hate the smell of it when I open the fridge.

He wanted to order out and trying to make it healthy we ordered from a Mediterranean place. The thing is, I had a falafel salad - falafel is carb heavy. And he had some chicken gyro in a pita. A pita is carb heavy. So it’s like, he is trying, but it doesn’t register to him what carbs are, how bad they are, how one innocent pita is actually the devil lol.

But we didn’t get fries....

I looked back in my entries here. I haven’t had sex with Will all of May or June. I feel SO GUILTY about this and yet I’m too disgusted with myself to do anything about it. I shudder at my self. I can’t hold out sex until I get the surgery. It isn’t fair to him.

I’m in the office today. Period just started early this morning. So I feel nausea and crampy. Happy I’m alone in the office today…

Except my bitch boss - it’s like she’s right HERE because she messages me as SOON as she knows I’m signed on.

I think I told you guys we had a big meeting with the advisory board. It’s over. I typed up the notes. She asked me if I sent it to the board and I said no because she had questions about the date of something (she put that on the track changes) and I told her the date is up to her and the advisory board so when she decides the final date I’ll send the minutes out but she still wants me to re read WHAT I WROTE when I can’t send the minutes out anyway UNTIL SHE DECIDES about the fucking date.

Yea… I’m not rushing over to that document anytime soon…

This period needs to leave before I break this bitch’s back over my knee - or at least I would if she dared come in the office- which I’m glad she’s too chicken to do.

Oh and I got MORE test results sent to my email and spoke to the doc.

I’m deficient in Vitamin D. I say still cause I prob got a blood test in 2017 that said the same thing. They rx me pills and I finished the whole bottle and felt no different. Never got retested. I do have some Vit D3 gummies doc said I can stick with gummies but I need 4000 units. I have to look at the bottle, I don’t know what units one gummy is.

She said my calcium and B12 are good.

My “bad cholesterol” is at 103. I think they get concerned at 110. The doc didn’t say anything about it.

It also said that my Neutrophils Absolute is higher than norm. I’m supposed to be at 7 but I’m at 7.7%. I don’t know what that means. It ranges from bacterial infection to cancer. The doc didn’t mention anything about it.

She said my thyroid is good - in case anyone thought my thyroid was making me fat. Nope. Not that easy lol.

And finally, I saw the results. I do have diabetes. I think I should be under 5.6.%. At 6.4% I’d be pre diabetic. I’m at 6.7%. Not terribly crazy but now I’m gonna have to take metformin and test my blood. My fasting blood sugar was 144 when it should be, at max, 120. Well like I said, at least me and Will can do it together.

AND now I have an actual reason - besides being obese - to get the weight loss surgery. So I don’t think they can deny me now.

The primary doc will send the results to the weight loss doc.

I told the doc I’m on a food tracker app and I wanted to know how much percentage of protein, fat, carbs, I should be eating - and sugar of course. And she said the nutritionist will tell me. I don’t see the nutritionist until August though. And the doc was like “you know what to do until then” - which is like, yea I do know to avoid sugar but… I was annoyed she couldn’t give any other hints.

I called the weight loss doc to see if we could speak to the nutritionist sooner and got a telelmed appointment for next week.

I also emailed that same person who emailed me weeks ago saying she was gonna be my “guide” to the surgery and then never responded to my first email. She got me on track with setting up my sleep study but I have to wait for a take home machine to be available. Better sooner than later.

I think, once I fail the sleep study I’ll call back my insurance and say hey, me and hubby both have diabetes and sleep apnea and need the surgery now - and see if they can’t drop that 6 month wait and give us our surgery in the fall instead of the winter.

Will would need to do his before thanksgiving, or he’d have to wait until the new year. So if need be, I’d let him go first just cause my schedule is more flexible.

I can’t wait to get this surgery. I’m trying not to be unhealthily obsessed with it but once I make a decision I’m too gung ho to slow down.

Last updated December 20, 2020