Man, damn... in meh...

  • June 12, 2020, 6 p.m.
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  • Public

(quick note: I tried to do this entry last week and I got so frustrated because my hands and a little laptop are not a good fit. So I’m going to leave what’s I wrote and add other stuff.)

I’m ok. I just have mind stuff going again.
This is nothing new. It’s what I do.

My son has been feeling some weirdness in his body. After a few days and many calls, we find him a doctor. Like every time he eats, it’s weird. His appointment, of course, is next month. I’m going to go hung ho on veggie-vegan and he is coming with me. I can’t give up cheese but I can totally do vegan. The only thing I hate is feeling hungry so much.
This is still a thing that will be happening. I don’t want to fry so much, but I also don’t want to eat everything raw. I mean, I do like to cook and amaze myself in the process. But again, I just don’t like feeling so hungry all the time. If I could, I could live on potatoes. Tater tots, fries, potato chips. If the oil wouldn’t kill me first. They aren’t nutrient dense. But I would if I could.

My biggest disappointment today was that my lunch hour was changed to 11:30 and I still
I got frustrated at this point and couldn’t finish what I wanted to say. That or the hot spot on went off and my phone died. All of these are possible. Anyway, this is still disappointing. If I don’t bring food with me, my lunch is SUNK. I was able to leave the office one day this week. I was going to go get fish from Captain D’s. I thought about it. I will get to White Castle first. White Castle was packed. I got out of that line and headed to Captain D’s. Captain D’s was packed. I only have 30 mins for lunch, so I basically just wasted my gas in my car. I was so pissed. I’m still pissed when I think about it. Today, I wasn’t able to get off the phone and logout properly to take my lunch. So that was another day I didn’t eat. I feel like I’m chained to my seat when others will freely just walk away from their stations. I can’t hang up without the phone ringing back to back. It’s bad right around the time I have to go to lunch. Even when I was going at 12 or whenever I wanted as long as it was for a half hour. I have this thing about perfect time punches because I want what I’m owed. I don’t want to steal time, I don’t want to lose time. I’m weird like that so… That day was not the only day I’ve had instances where I just don’t eat. I went to Jack in the Box and turned the corner and went right back out the line was so long. It’s frustrating. I already know I have issues being at least 4th in line when I go to lunch at 12 or 12:30 even, but 11:30 am and I can’t even be first in line? That bunches my drawz. LOL
Today was no exception either. I just clocked out for lunch at 12 and logged back in @ 12:30. I was finally able to log out of my phone at 11:43. I bet any money that the phone was quiet.

I’ve been kind of frustrated anyway. I’m tasked with answering the regular line, then I have to answer the phone and take orders. I can almost swear that everyone else uses the “Make Busy” button way more than I do. I am always on the phone. This is why I like quiet, when I’m home. This is why I don’t talk much when I’m home. This is why I need a peaceful environment. I’m tired of being stressed out and mad.

Which leads me to the ugly muppet next door. I am upset I have no legal recourse for real. I keep looking at my wall and saying I hope you die and then taking it back because I don’t want that for anyone I love. He started again yesterday. And the thing is, I don’t mind the music he plays, but play it where I don’t have to hear it. It’s always super loud, bass lines interfere with what I’m watching and then I have to turn the tv up louder which makes me unhappy. I can’t stand it. I don’t contact my landlady every time because of how frequent it can be. I’ve been at home for 3 months and now, when I need the quiet the most, I can’t get it and I swear I will hurt him with my bare hands.

Other than that, I’m trying to maintain my sanity as best as I can. Not sure how good that’s going though. I keep being in need to buy a house and get my car situation together. This is my last year on this lease. So yeah.

God is Good moment:
My car/renters insurance payment went down by $20.
Even with all that fussing I did about my lunch hours…I had no idea my banking app wasn’t keeping up with transactions. So I thought I had a few dollars in my account and I was going to use that for lunch. I hadn’t spent any money since that last time I did and it wasn’t much. So I was sitting at my desk pissed off and I was looking at my phone and I got an overdraft notice email. I looked at my phone and said I know yous a effin lie! My account hasn’t been overdrawn since the pandemic, my taxes and my stimulus hit. But gratefully, I had money in my savings to transfer to cover that. Sadly my savings is now close to nothing and I had been doing so good.

Dah well…

With that, I bid you all au revoir…

Kindest regards,

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