Yesterdayyy in Life
- June 12, 2020, 2:11 p.m.
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- Public
Seems so very farrr away.
So yesterday wasn’t a great day, obviously. I spent most of it in silent brooding while I played with Elly and gave Pam little more than one word answers. She knew something was up but also I didn’t want to talk about it so that was an impass.
Without reading the comments on my last entry (personal rule of mine, don’t read before you write) I eventually got ‘over’ it and moved on but lemme tell you, there wasn’t a cellphone in sight for the better part of the night yesterday so I think she got the drift or realized herself that it was rude.
NOW. Moving forward. What’s Adam gonna do? Adam is gonna mention the problem as it happens, yes he is. Instead of spending a day brooding, if there is an issue like that at dinner I’m gonna say something in the moment not just stare in aghast disbelief.
Still I worry about the kind of example she’s setting for Elly but at some point all I can really control is the example that I’M setting for Elly.
I dunno. People who do most of the work around the house, do you delegate other members of your family? Does one of us need to be the manager? I never grew up with a full family unit so it was always just my dad or just my mom doing all the work (as single parents) So do I have to set out a chore list for Pam and be like “Okay Pam today you need to clean the washroom”? to some degree I feel that it’s obvious that I’m still learning as I go but neither Pam nor I have great role models to base our actions off of which leaves us to stew and blunder our way though our problems.
I see that I have a few comments on the last entry so thank you to those who suffered through my bottom barrel depression to leave me tips and thank you to PB for being here as an outlet. I know that if I didn’t express those thoughts yesterday this would have been a week long issue but now I know it’s something that I just have to keep an eye on and set boundries? I guess? I dunno man, I’m still learning.
DE_KentuckyGirl ⋅ June 14, 2020 (edited June 14, 2020)
Edited
I tend to do most of what needs to be done.
My husband doesn't do much and I've given up fighting it. He grew up in a family where his mom did all the work. This was 50's and 60's, so the stereotype was more that the womens kept the house and took care of the kids but also, she didn't work outside the home either. I've generally taken on the tasks because 1) I want it done by a certain time and in a certain way, not have to continually nag and nag, or walk behind someone to redo it cuz they half ass it and 2) I've largely worked less hours than my husband, who works 60 hours a week, easily and travels a lot. While it's his home too, I feel asking him to contribute too much is a bit unfair as proportionately he is away from the home more than I am; 3) I'm an acts of service person; 4) his standard of what is acceptable is way less than my standard.
When I am working full time, I tend to hire someone to come and do the deep cleaning once a week (sometimes it's been twice a week) because, frankly, when I am working full time, I dont wanna keep up the house either.
Growing up, my dad did a lot and us kids were responsible for many chores when we were old enough. There were 4 of us kids. Even under 10 yrs old, we had a chore list. My mom had a calendar on the fridge dictating whose turn it was for dishes and, on weekends when we were older, we had a list before we could go out (clean bathroom, laundry etc). We wee assigned responsibility of our own laundry around middle school, with appointed days as our own laundry day.