Psychic Visit & Therapist in My Life

Marriage counseling today. Psychic yesterday. <sigh> None of it was good, really. Psychic was not as good as last time, although that could be because last time was the first time I saw her and I had no expectations; this time I had expectations. Of note, the divorce card came up constantly. Every time. But she kept saying to wait a couple years; that sort of seemed opinion. Told me to go to the MA gov website and look at the financial stuff of being single, child support etc. Said the economy is bad and I should start saving. ???? We don't have a surplus here, no amount of time is going to make that change. I said G was in insurance when she asked and she said he's going to make a lot of money in the very near future; new job. "With Obamacare, there's going to all sorts of new opportunity to almost combat that" and I said "Um, auto insurance. Not health." So credibility died a bit there.... Then she told me that I'd remarry in about ten years (consistent from last time) and it would be someone I already know. Asked who I think about "what ifs" about. I couldn't think of anybody. She said G would remarry very very quickly because he can't be alone and someone is waiting in the wings for him. A girl he knows who will swoop in to pick up the pieces. I didn't agree with a lot; she said that I don't have any passion, don't know what my passions ARE, and I blame him for that and that's not fair. That's not true at all; I don't necessarily know career wise what I want but I'm really happy right now. My passions are music, animals, reading, social media, my friends, running. Plenty. And she told me to quit focusing on the negative. My friends say I'm one of the most positive people they know. So I don't know. Counseling was ridiculous. I really went in there w/my tail between my legs. We were supposed to talk every night 15-20 mins. We did the 1st night for almost an hour but didn't do that after; we checked in w/each other fora few days but we didn't talk. She told us today of the 20 couples she sees we are the couple that puts the least amount of effort in. I was very honest today in some of what I said. And I said when I was away, I missed the kids but I didn't miss Greg. And I asked him if he missed me or if he just felt relieved because the tension was gone, and he could relax for a few days. He danced around the issue and I said "That's not my question - how did you feel?" He said he was relieved. And concerned because we might enjoy being apart. And concerned for the kids if we split up. He kept talking about how I feel and Maria really laid into him today and kept saying "I hear a lot about how M feels, but you never say how you feel." And he kept avoiding it. She finally asked "What if either one of you said to the other 'I don't think that this marriage is going to work.' How would you feel?" G said that he would be sad but not surprised or blind sided. He said that he would "take exception." ??????????? Annoying. He feels like he has to use pharses and terms that sound important. When she asked me I said relieved. Relieved that something was happening, because for 7 months it's been "Yea we had a good talk" a month later tension then again "Yea it was good things are better" same pattern, no real changes. He said "Yea I agree because we are in limbo." So she told us to have a conversation about divorce. About it not working. And to go back to her and tell us about that in 2 weeks. <sigh> I'm nauseous, I'm shaky. On Thursday my friend that's a lawyer came by and gave my the name of a mediator, two attorneys that are good, one if it gets really bad, and two to stay away from. She went through the process. And then something happened Friday at O's school and the last 72 hours have been massive headaches and worry and just....ugh. I need a life vacation.