Face in Current Events

I managed to disconnect from politics and world events. From social media as well. Skyrim was my escape. My anxiety is still a little high as I had shrunk my surroundings and now I have to push through that but I’ll be okay. However, I am devastated because my hair has been falling out in the shower. I decided to have a couple of beers and then clean my space in the house. Then I got brave and looked at my hairline for the first time this year. I am shook. It is bad. I don’t know what to do. It’s just one spot. It’s breaking off and falling out. I knew it was bad because I can feel how thin it is whenever I run my hands through my hair. I suppose I could schedule an appointment with my doctor. It better not be because I am vegan and he better not tell me to start eating animals. lol He won’t. His husband is vegan. Speaking of which, it was my three anniversary a couple of days ago. For me going vegan I mean. I thought it had been four years but that one would be four years ago that I quit smoking. I wonder if a vitamin D deficiency is causing my hair to fall out? That’s a common issue for vegans and even a more common issue for Canadians as it is impossible to get the daily dose of vitamin D from the sun during our winters. Did you know that vitamin D is suspected to play a huge role in COVID-19? Something to do with the strength of the receptors in the air sacs in your lungs. Or was it to do with antibodies? Antibodies are getting clogged and causing embolisms. These clots have various starting points and for men, their prostate is one of them. There is a popular feminist in Australia who keeps tweeting that C19 is not killing men fast enough. Even though it’s killing men at a faster rate. This virus is a cousin to the cold which means it is likely going to mutate making vaccines useless. Or it will go away and come back next year like a cold does and hopefully not have mutated. Australian scientists at one of their virology labs suspect this was man-made because it has such an easy time infecting humans. A separate study somewhere says that it has a synthetic protein that allows it to enter the nucleus without any trouble. The big cover-up is that the virology lab in Wuhan, which studies COVID accidentally leaked it. The US was already aware at how sloppy and dangerous that lab was and was keeping an eye on it. That wet market in Wuhan does not sell bats but that lab studies those bats. The real patient zero went to that market after work. She’s also been removed from the company site and the government is trying to pretend that she never existed. The WHO helped cover it up. Now China is taking advantage of this mess and is flexing its borders. Ok! I just said that I was disconnecting from world events. Two Canadian journalists were arrested in China and their government was demanding that we extradite somebody here in exchange and my PM is not doing it. He’s even funding China right now and pretending that China is not… oy, I’m disconnecting from world events. Breath Tom you big bloated bitch in the basement. My PM is not letting non-left reporters and journalists have access to his press conferences. Is even having them escorted out of public spaces by the police who are even trying to confiscate their footage. What is happening to our democracy? Trudeau is fucking up.

My niece goes back to daycare today. I couldn’t sleep. I don’t know if it is because my sister is sad and nervous and I can feel that or if I am just a little torn up about it myself. I woke up at 4:30 this morning as a random image of her looking sad crossed my mind. She’s going to be okay, she’s excited. It’s just going to be different not having her in the house. We’ve been spending a lot of time together. She’s a brilliant, sassy, creative little thing. I can’t believe she turns five this August.

Anyway, it’s Monday. I like Mondays. I have a few things that I want to do. Up my groceries for starters. I need to get brave and call my auto repair shop to get my oil changed and my brakes replaced. I want to call my doctor and I want to call my barbershop. My anxiety has made it hard to log into my online banking, I got to pay some bills. Then I got to throw my resume around online. I have a friend that could get me hired a Home Depot. I don’t speak the language there so I’m too nervous lol. I suppose I would become fluent in that stuff. I need to read my e-mails, I got one from my gym. I think they reopened. If so I want to go but not today. I’ll go tomorrow at 5am if that is possible. I’ll just do my usual home workouts. Today is back day. I’ve been working on my core and my glutes so I could do the proper squat position that we all lose in the west because of chairs. I’ve been working on my mobility and flexibility also to get myself ready for callisthenics. My booty looks so good which is great because I am hoping that it will do all the flirting for me lol. omg I’m so weird today. I’ve been trying to build up my strength to do more advanced pushups and there are many of them that I can do now. I could barely do one proper pushup, I’m impressed with myself. Now if only I wasn’t losing my hair I’d have confidence :( only looked at it for a second from across the room. I wonder if I’ll be brave enough to get in close with a mirror. I still can only look at myself in pieces, just at what I need to see and then I get out of there. I can’t tell if it is my imposter syndrome or if I’m just… experiencing some dysmorphia? Ok! I should go do my Monday now.

Last updated June 08, 2020