coolers and corona in 2020

9:06pm

I had an entry started in here from a couple days ago. I honestly thought I was going to finish it the other night, but never got around to it. Kinda funny it worked out that way because there were new developments yesterday.

The entry is about TF. About a very realistic dream I had about him and my thoughts on that. Then that afternoon as I was unloading the car after work I glanced up and saw him walking down the sidewalk waving at me. Crazy coincidence but didn’t surprise me that much since I always had moments like that with him. Thoughts out of nowhere then he’d show up. Stuff like that. Well then yesterday I was waiting for dinner to be ready and went outside to get the mail. Yup, sure enough, there he was outside and there was no way to avoid him. We talked for a couple minutes and all was fine. But I just can’t seem to write out all the thoughts that I had the other day, or even yesterday, so I’ve started this instead. I guess worst case scenario this will serve as the memory but I really do have way more to say. Fingers crossed I’ll spark some motivation for it.

In other news though: an update to my cooler! It’s still scheduled to arrive tomorrow. I’m super hoping it’ll get here before he arrives from work so I can set it up with bows and all that. It’ll be all ready for him to arrive, undoubtedly with beer, which would be perfect. I have no idea what time they deliver around here though so we’ll see if it arrives at all.

It would work out pretty great because our 11-month anniversary is tomorrow. So although I can’t wait until our one year this would still be an anniversary. He won’t expect it at all and we already decided no gifts for the big day so he won’t feel bad for not getting me anything. Also next weekend his friend is having a birthday party and it’s the first get together with the friends since all this Covid stuff started. I definitely think he’d want to take it with him.

Speaking of this party. He told me about it a while back but things were a bit more complicated when he first mentioned it and it was kind of blown off like there’s no way that’s going to happen. Then last weekend it came up again because the girl hosting it was contacting him about it. He invited me to go and said he really wanted me to be there but I was super hesitant. I mean hangout with people NOW during ALL.THIS?!?! You’ve got to be crazy.

I told him as much. That I would have to wait and give it some thought. He also spoke to the host [I’ve met her, she’s super nice and we got along great] and I could tell she asked if I was going. He told her he hoped so but that I hadn’t decided and I know she said that she hoped I could make it. Which is nice.

I’ve been thinking about it all week. It’s crazy that I actually have to even give this so much thought. Like it’s a little get together at a house for a birthday. But damn, this corona virus has me paranoid. This is not a good environment/time for anyone let alone a germaphobe with a compromised immune system. I’ve always been safe, especially during cold/flu seasons, but now it’s just so much more intense.

You have to wonder how clean this house is. Where has everyone been? How safe are they? Do they take any precautions at all? Have they been exposed recently? Are they sick and we just can’t tell because they don’t have symptoms?!? That’s the scariest part. The fact that people don’t always have symptoms. That is the biggest thing that worries me.

There are precautions I can take. Don’t share food/drinks, wash my hands, stay at a distance, protect my own bubble and all that. But also the introvert in me panics a little. I’ve met a good chunk of EC’s friends but probably not all of them. So I start to wonder: Who is gonna show up? How many people? Where are we going to sleep? How drunk is EC going to get? Will I be stuck alone if he does overdo it?

I’m going to talk to him about it all this weekend. Just let him know my hesitations. [Like please don’t chug out of the beer bong with every other mouth at the party!] I would really like to go. I think despite all my concerned thoughts it could actually turn out to be fun. I miss going places and seeing people. It could be a good time. I definitely know how to keep myself safe so I’m not worried about that part. I just want to make sure we’ll both be on the same page about staying safe together.

We’ll see what happens.

For now I am looking forward to another weekend. Tomorrow EC will come over after work. We’ll make enchiladas and watch the fights. He’ll spend the night. Sunday we’ll bbq skirt steak and quesadillas. Probably drink all weekend and escape for moments alone. Weekends are good. Weekends with him are better.

rose.
10:10pm