We're almost there in 2020

5:37pm

Well, I’m at work on my laptop and I figured if I started this now I might actually have the motivation to finish it once I get home. I’ve been trying, but really all that has amounted to is the occasional entry in my head, the idea of sitting down to write it, and then nothing. Which I guess doesn’t really make it “trying”. We’ll see how this idea goes. I have just discovered that this keyboard is about a 100x quieter than my office keyboard so I might be able to get away with typing on it more often and acting like I’m working. hah.

There’s so much going on. So many things I wish I were documenting: the crazy political situation in this country, the insane covid-19 pandemic, and all the fun things like the fact that I’m about to hit the ONE YEAR mark with EC! How the heck did that happen?? I swear it was just yesterday that we were standing in the neighbour’s kitchen arguing about something stupid, neither one of us willing to back down. And now all of a sudden I’m about a month away from having been in a loving committed relationship for an entire year with this man and we’ve had no more than a handful of squabbles [mostly over having to figure out where our boundaries were with our partner and friends of the opposite sex. IE: possible jealousy, which amounts to nothing on either side because we both have close friends that are our opposites and need to get used to that].

Honestly, I never thought I’d make it this far with anyone. While I spent all those years completely single I always wondered how people could possibly spend so much time with a significant other. I guess it’s true that time just flies on by when you’re having fun because EC and I can’t seem to get enough of each other [even after all these months] no matter how many hours we spend together. Which is a good thing, right? But I really never thought I would be the type of person that could stick with someone like this. Commitment issues I’m sure. Plus so many people seemed to last only a few months in relationships and I guess that skewed my perspective into thinking that that was a long time.

I don’t want to jump the gun, but I probably will anyway, and say that I think he could possibly be the one. Like the one. We’ve hinted here and there about marriage and we always seem to be on the same page. He definitely seems to be thinking about it too. I just don’t know how any of it would actually work. I should probably have a real convo about this with him at some point. Maybe one of these days when we can go on a date again and sit across from each other at a restaurant. That tends to be good for us. I’m not much of a planner, or goal setter, or timeline keeper, but I just need to know we are working towards something and that ‘something’ is the same thing.

My plan would include saving a chunk of money for a house and possibly even buying that before we get married [although I wouldn’t move in], but I don’t know if that seems like too big of a commitment to him before he even proposes. Obviously I’d also like to get married [and maybe possibly have a kid some day if it’s in the cards]. We have been on the same page on all previous discussions but I also know that he has some weird fear that some woman is going to take half of his stuff in a divorce and that freaks him out. I’ve tried to reassure him that I definitely would not be that woman. First of all I don’t see divorce as an easy way out and second why the heck would I want to take something that isn’t mine? I surely don’t want him to take any of my stuff!!

Anyway, there are a lot of thoughts surrounding it all. For now I’m just looking forward to hitting our one year anniversary and reminiscing on every thing that has happened. Also I got him a gift even though last weekend the anniversary came up and I asked if we were exchanging gifts and we decided not to. He literally just gave me a bunch of gifts for my birthday a couple weeks ago and made the quarantine birthday quite special [maybe even more so than when the world was open]. So it’s a little soon to be coming up with new ideas and I’m cool with that. But he has been talking about wanting to buy a cooler for the longest time and I keep trying to put him off because he’s the most difficult person to buy for. He always mentions stuff he’d like but I swear within days he just buys it himself! It’s so hard to come up with ideas and I have to get super creative. Especially because his birthday is in September and then Christmas in December. I’ve had this conversation with him and after some thinking he agreed it’s difficult. I told him to put a wishlist together or just stop buying the stuff. My point here being that there is no way I can put him off until Sept for the cooler and it would make more sense for him to have it now anyway during the summer. We’ve literally filled my ice chest every weekend since the weather got warm in early April. I ordered one today that he mentioned not that long ago. Hopefully he’ll still like it. heh. I don’t know if I can hold off until even the end of June though so maybe it’ll be an early anniversary gift [that I can use too hah]. I’m going to wait as long as possible though!

According to the email I got, about five minutes after I bought it, they have already shipped it out. It originally said it would arrive between Sunday and next Wednesday. I’m just hoping it doesn’t show up while he’s here or there goes the surprise! I guess I’ll have to wait and see. Nothing I can do about it.

So it seems I had a good idea going since I’m now at home, on my couch, watching a Nature show on butterflies. There is something else I want to say today but I think I’m going to put it in another entry. This is long enough and it’s a totally different subject anyway. Let’s see if I can get that done too.

rose.
8:47pm