Twitter Sized: Example in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020
- May 20, 2020, 7:42 p.m.
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- Public
See… this is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.
As I was perusing Tinder… an attractive 43 year old put as her profile “I am a nerd in a Tabletop and Anime sense. My 7 year old son is a Batman expert.” That was her profile. So...... ummmm..... an attractive older woman who likes board games, DND, anime, and whose son is into DC Comics?!?!?!?!?! Isn’t that… like.... relatively perfect for me? But.... no. No mutual swipe. No mutual attraction. No mutual acceptance. And that is what I’m experiencing and feeling somewhat crushed by. Nancy gets dates by accepting any man within a 40 mile area. Meanwhile… a woman that has all of my same interests doesn’t find me worthwhile. And… let’s dissect that concept.
Nancy accepts whatever guy comes along. I would like something where the woman and I have some similar interests.
And yet.... similar interests… attraction…the things that create at least an interesting connection? Not for me, apparently. A forty plus woman with my interests and a child… apparently… I’m not worth it. A childless, gainfully employed, home owner who shares your interests… is… apparently… not good enough??
What the fuck is wrong with modern dating!?!?!
Always Laughing ⋅ May 20, 2020
I feel ya. I'm ready to take a break from it.
Park Row Fallout Always Laughing ⋅ May 21, 2020
I would consider it as well but for my need for any kind of social interaction and... it is funny. This is exactly why I am where I am in the world today. Hope, as hard as it is for me, is constantly with me. Hope is the impossible dream that keeps me moving forward. But I have almost never been rewarded for my hope. A dark dance between hope pushing me forward and the emptiness of reality when that hope remains empty.
Deleted user ⋅ May 20, 2020
Women are shallow. It’s not an opinion, this is a fact. Money or good looks. Tinder is good looks. Bumble is money.
Deleted user Deleted user ⋅ May 22, 2020
Men are shallow too so....
Deleted user Deleted user ⋅ May 22, 2020
I can't speak for all men, but I am shallow and i think with my dick.
Purple Dawn ⋅ May 20, 2020
Message her, don't just swipe and wait for a mutual thing. 🙂
stargazing ⋅ May 20, 2020
The fact that Nancy is just accepting whoever comes along just shows to me that she doesn't want to be alone and is just jumping on anything so she can go from a marriage with you...to someone else. She's not really a functioning adult. It's hard for me to imagine her being by herself for long. Can you message this girl you are interested in? (I obviously know very little about Tinder)
hippiechica15 stargazing ⋅ May 21, 2020
This.
Park Row Fallout hippiechica15 ⋅ May 21, 2020
I would love if Tinder or Bumble worked that way but they don't. Tinder requires a mutual match and Bumble requires that the woman initiates conversations. Thus why I'm not shocked by some of the previous comments claiming that Tinder is just focused on looks and Bumble on money. Because there really isn't that much of an opportunity to "select based on conversation, likes, interests, etc." One of the reasons why I despise the new world of dating as it has become transactional. Another reason Nancy succeeds where I fail. For her, it is another "obsess over my cell phone and play this game" kind of approach. For me... I want to find people that share my interests, that can have a conversation... that has friends and something to her. Online dating isn't a great place for that.
stargazing Park Row Fallout ⋅ May 21, 2020
My how things have changed. I met my husband on Yahoo Personals, and chatted with a handful of guys...not even having paid for the site. We'd move to instant messaging, and chatted back and forth for awhile before I met a couple of them. I remember thinking that the way Bumble and Tinder did things was interesting...I wonder how their model would have changed my online dating experience.
bouchie ⋅ May 21, 2020
Your last part about the woman’s “specs” (for lack of a better word) makes it sound like you think you’re doing her a favor. So, she’s forty plus with a child. Still a single woman, I assume.
Deleted user ⋅ May 22, 2020
Maybe she doesn’t find you attractive. Or maybe your profile hasn’t come across her phone yet. Or maybe she has logged out of her account to take a break. There are a lot of maybes. There are a lot of man, I’m talking dozens, that I hoped to match with and never did. It’s all a part of the tinder game. But if you internalize that as rejection and somehow you are not worth a damn, it’s going to drive you insane and make you incredibly miserable. I know from first-hand experience.
DimMeOut ⋅ May 22, 2020
Who is Nancy?? I'm missing something...
I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm kinda in a reverse situation right now, except I'm getting lots of swipes but then the guys end up being drug addicts or alcoholics, or have severe mental health issues or all of the above. sigh Dating fucking sucks.
-d ⋅ May 25, 2020
I still think you should blow off tinder and bumble, and pay for a site you can at least make a connection with. It seems like these sites are causing you more harm than good.