To go or to not go? in Second 1st

Tuesday.... Maybe Wednesday.... I’m not really sure.... Destiny and I talked for almost 2 hours. Before getting off the phone we were considering me making a trip so that I would be there for a few days before her audition and maybe a day after. She’s freaking out about it really. Mostly the logistics. I mean she does not own a computer. I’ve never understood why but she never has had one. She does all her internet stuff on her phone, so she will be doing the audition on the phone. That being said she wanted to do

. It means a lot to her and if it’s the only song she sings she’d be happy with it. However, she doesn’t have in her karaoke music and was freaking out about how she would be able to play it and be on her phone for the audition. .... It I was there I would rip it from YouTube…burn it to a CD so she could play it in her DVD player.... but I’m not. So I looked for a track CD and found one, bought it and it should be there by the 20th. I told her there will be no lyrics so she should memorize them if she hasn’t.... The CD has 6 tracks, 3 different keys and with and without background vocals. I can do nothing more if she’s not happy with it.

Anyways, we’d talked about me going up. I told her I’d have to run it by Rocky. Being as I don’t have to go back to work until “mid-June” it seems like a possibility.

When Rocky got up..... he complained about his ankle hurting and showed me a bruise. He’d been outside tearing down an old ugly shed and I’m sure he’d accidentally hit himself or something had fallen.... it was bruised up pretty good. He’d said It had woken him a few times. I decided that was something he felt the need to tell me so… I felt the need to broach the trip subject. It was a horrible Idea.

So.... I figure I’d only have to stop 2-3 times.... take disinfectant wipes and wipe off the gas nozzle before using it to top off-not going in..... and I could probably do the whole trip there and back for about 600 because we won’t be going anywhere .... like the bars/karaoke won’t be open so it’s really about hanging out and stuff.....

He decided now was a time to throw my own statements back at me. “By your own admission you always spend money on her it won’t be as cheap as you think it will.”..... and he kept saying that even after I said everything I could think of ..... and when I told him to stop throwing my own words at me like a weapon.... he stormed off.

I waited about 10 mins and decided to remind him he wanted to go to Northern Tool to get a large magnet. He wants to drag it through the ash in his fire pit to get out nails and stuff. Sure.... anyway I went to remind him (thinking he was in the bathroom.... there had been no yelling, I honestly thought he’d gone to the bathroom). Guess where he went.... back to bed. I walked in the bedroom and said the usual “because things didn’t go your way? The conversation isn’t going well because you can’t come up with any other reason I shouldn’t go other than I’ll spend more than I think I will. Don’t you think that’s more on me than something you can argue with.” .... He moved and started making “in pain noises” and I said “Oh, I’m sorry, you’re ankle hurts. That must be why you are going back to bed I’ll just leave you to it then.” Closed the door and stepped outside to call Destiny..... talked to her for a bit and I told her I’d bring it up again in a couple days but obviously we aren’t talking about it anymore today. When I came in I expected him to still be in the bedroom but he’d gotten up and was in the shower.

He came out pacing .... looked like he was hurting. I asked him if he’d like to get the magnet and he said he was thinking about going to the hospital. WTF! for your ankle? .... no apparently his back was hurting pretty bad too..... didn’t say that when he’d gotten up.... I talked him down from it. Put some Tiger Balm on it and he felt improvement.... so he’s been putting it on and it’s improved bit by bit.... Then it became the pain is the reason he responded the way he did..... Right....

Now he’s all “I trust you, you can go if you want”.......

Went to plan D&D for Wednesday … messaged William… had to cancel again this week :(..... did talk to Krystal about taking the trip and she’s against it. Talking about If I have it I’ll get them all sick and if they have it I’d get sick for going..... and if it’s a different strain (there are 8 or something now). Rocky then started talking about monitored state borders and such. Destiny and I are literally the only 2 who think that would be fine being as they have been .... and we have been … home doing nothing.

I want to go.... The last time I say her was May last year when I went up for my Aunt Wendy’s memorial and that time was more about family.... so I don’t want to count it. … I’m also sure that we are not going to have time off in July once we get back to work.... so vacation is not going to happen. I have nothing to base this off of other than we’ve not been working for 2 1/2 months by the time we get back. Not that a week is going to make up for that but obviously production has suffered. Last year I used trying to pay down debt as an excuse to not go..... I just want to hang out and play cards.... I just want to see people and yes I’ll drive some 700 miles to do it....

sigh Opinion? Convince me not going is best or encourage me to go be the good friend I wish I was.