Coffee Crashing and Mental Anguish in Deeper Bits (Emotional and such)

Today is day 3 of me coming home and ending up crashing on the couch, completely out of energy after work. I started thinking about it today, and I think it’s the coffee. I normally order a medium, and starting Wednesday, after that whole shit show of me screwing up my pills, I ordered a large. I didn’t even think about it today with the barista guessed the size as a medium until after I finished my 3rd job, and was feeling like I was going to fall asleep while driving. I think I went over my limit of caffeine, then I crashed. I think I’m going to have to make sure I don’t overdo it on the morning coffee, if I want to be able to do anything after I get home. We’ll see what happens tomorrow, as I usually don’t drink coffee on the weekends.

My mind has also been raking my ass over the coals about BL again. I didn’t dream about her last night, at least not that I remember. I just haven’t been able to get her out of my head. I’m hoping a decent sleep will let me forget. Or at this point, I’d almost welcome the distraction of being haunted by The Ginger, or the brunette whose name I don’t remember right now and am not bothered enough to go back to the Dreams book and look up. Anything other than BL. Anyone other.

I really hate my mind sometimes. The disadvantage of it being my mind is it knows just where to poke a sharp stick. I need to make a change. This is not working for me.

This is not my life.