booooooooooooring in just testing

My life is boring - which is why I don't write much.

Ummm Can't remember when last I wrote.

I got my period this weekend which sucked. It sucks anytime it comes along though.

I hate the physical part of it but also the EMOTIONAL part. It's hard cause it's a big joke, to men mostly, about the emotional changes one goes through on their period and sometimes I joke about it too like it's not real but then I lose my fucking mind and it's just invisible, home wrecking hormones that fuck up my life!!!!

Saturday Will's best friend wanted us to hang out with his youngest child that we were recently made God parents to.

Is it totally mean that I don't dig the Godparent scene?

I mean, now 1 Saturday a month I'm obligated to hang out with them because they had a baby. And it's not like I don't like them but I don't have a scheduled once a month 'hang out session' with anyone. Not even my best friend!!! You hang out when you WANT to and when you can. And I don't really know his gf. I mean, we hang out and it's OK but she's 10 year younger than me and... I dunno, I just don't feel we have much in common though she's nice.

I was also pissy cause another friend of his was having a birthday at a nice place and I was looking forward to being Godparents in the afternoon and a lush at the birthday in the evening and then the Godparent duties got pushed later and later till the point that we couldn't go to the birthday and my bitchface picked a face with Will for signing us up to be Godparents in the first place.

The thing is - his best friend asked him when I wasn't around and Will agreed and ... I was never really close to his best friend or his kids so I was annoyed that Will said yes. I understand why he did, this guy is his best friend but ... he's not mine, you know.

During Will's bachelor party his 'best friend' tried to get Will to hook up with one of the 'strippers' like that's an OK thing to do.

It's 'tradition' to cheat on your fiancé with some dirty stripper.

Let me clarify that I don't think 'all' strippers are dirty - I knew a stripper once, I don't hate them. But these whores that brought their pimp on board the party bus, got completely naked in the party bus and were down to fuck for money during the party at some location the pimp would provide ---- those were whores. And I would expect nothing more from his dirty 'best friend'

His best friend has also cheated on the girl he has a kid with - I don't think she knows.

But when we hanging out this weekend he was talking about how his girl was 'the one' but they'd never get married cause then all their state help would stop. Her being a single mom with 2 kids gets them everything discounted.... whatever.

ANYWAY so I pitched a fucking fit and was so manipulative that I had Will feeling bad about himself and his 'provider' abilities and our marriage and everything.

I mean, the argument was more than not being able to go out to the birthday but it started from that and I'm ashamed of myself. I really am - which is why I'm not going to rehash the argument.

ANYWAY - we made up and Sunday we went to a baby shower. Which was much nicer.

Maybe simply because I like that couple better.

And we got home early and curled up with Netflix and it was really nice.

But my weekend was busy and so I've been extra tired all week. I mean, maybe it's the period too but... Thank God tomorrow Is Friday cause I need a break from getting dressed and facing people. I just am still feeling hormonal - even though my period is almost over and I just wanna close myself in a closet for a while and just not deal with anyone.

I dunno - I feel aggravated for no real reason and I wish time would stop and I could just collect my stability for a moment.

Well tomorrow is Friday so once I get through that day I should be OK.