Will Nobody Listen? in The Troubled Mind of a Helpless Teen

How am I supposed to talk to people when everybody is so absorbed in what they are doing and their own interests? The goal of me having a therapist is to get me to start opening up, but how do that when no one cares enough to pay attention?

I pay attention when people come to talk to me. Most of the time. Admittedly, I know I could do better, but everyone has room for growth. I am human, too, as much as I hate it. At least when people start talking to me, I set aside what I am doing (if I am able to do so) and listen. I give them eye contact, I let them talk to me, I respond appropriately. Am I not worthy of the same treatment?

My parents want me to talk to them more. They want to have me be able to tell them anything. The thing is, when I actually start trying, THEY DON’T LISTEN. They do not care.

I know the things I am interested in do not connect to them in any way, but they could put in a little effort. I do my best to listen to their interests. All my mother talks about is her Keto, but have I said anything? NO. It is annoying, but I let her talk about it. Keto has given her many benefits, so I will not criticize it.

I just want to be heard. We already know that I cannot build strong, lasting relationships. We already know my parents pay someone to listen because it is their job. But that does not mean that they can just disregard me. I know I am not worth much, but I think it is possible I deserve to really be heard every now and then.

I feel emotions on a very intense scale. This is not helped by the fact that I inherit the quality of thinking emotions are a weakness from my father. I like to talk about my emotional attachment to fictional characters. I get so wrapped up in their world that I feel things as a physical ache. I start trembling when I get worked up enough with different feelings. Fictional characters seem to be just about everything I have.

I also love discussing anime and several book accounts, that kind of thing. Analyzing different worlds intrigues me. I like to talk about my music and how it feels, the different things I see and how much I love them. There is so much, and I am alone to think about them.

I would try talking to people more, but I do not want to be a burden. I do not want to annoy people with my self and have them leave me. I am tired of people leaving me behind. I just cannot seem to stop letting people in.

The only time to talk is with my therapist/counselor. I do not know which one anybody prefers. I do not really care for labels. She is someone to talk to either way. I know she listens because she is paid to, but she does a good job. We have a good time interacting. I like being there.

I used to dread the walk up the pathway when I first started therapy because I knew something was wrong with. I saw it as me being in need to professional help because I could not do things on my own. Now I am excited to sit down and talk. Our appointments are pretty spaced out, but I will take it. I do not want to ask for more because, honestly, I do not think we have the money.

It would be nice to have someone else listen for a change, though. To be able to build a strong relationship with someone and have it actually last. I want someone to hear my voice. I want someone to see when I am not okay, and keep pushing forward when I tell them “I’m fine.” I want someone to finally look at me and see that something is wrong, or that I am bursting with joy that needs to be shared, or that I just need somebody to be with for a while. I want someone to see me and all the beautiful things that are buried far beneath. Maybe help me uncover them again.

Is there anyway to fight all this discrimination against teenagers. A lot of people do not pay attention to it enough, but it is there. Teenagers are though of ungrateful children with no responsibility and no grasp on life.

News flash: we do actually know most of the time. It is just that nobody wants to hear us out.

Maybe we do not know the entirety of a situation, but a lot of the time, it is because no one will tell us. If someone would start to see us for people and not just adolescents, we could actually start accomplishing great things.

I know this all sounds like a childish rant, but I am extremely tired right now and still welled up with a lot of emotion that I am trying to get out. Once I have a level head, a better explanation will come. I just want people to start considering me as a person. To consider us. Don’t we deserve that much?