04.02.20 in Process of a Brokenhearted Woman

Hello there,
I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I keep having dreams of you and I don’t know why my brain keeps having me think of you while I’m asleep and yet still has me think about you in my first thoughts of the day.
I can’t help but to wonder.. how are you? Like honestly, how are you? How is your family?
I had a dream about going over to your house, and I was really nervous to do so but you kept reminding me that it was okay. It wasn’t the house you actually live in, but it was a different one. So I walked in and we made some food. And then, your dad came in. It’s weird to know that I miss seeing your dad around lol. But we talked for a little, and all he said was welcome in and asked how I was. I saw your mom as I was leaving, and she just gave me a big hug. It felt nice feeling her hug. But after that, I left and I was happy. You had a smile on your face and it was nice seeing you smile.
I miss you guys.
But I understand that this is JUST a dream.. but there is such a huge part of me that misses you. I want to reach out, but I know that is probably not smart.
However.. me being me.. guess what I just did?
Yeap.. I just texted you, saying..
“Please don’t respond to this if you don’t have anything nice to say..
I just thought you should know that I’ve been praying over you and your family a lot lately. I wish you nothing but the best that this world has to offer, in anything and everything.
My family and I all miss hearing your infectious laugh.
And I hope that you haven’t lost your spark in your dance moves as well as messing up the lyrics in almost every song. Lol
I know we only talk when it comes to the phone bill, but I wanted you to know that you and your family are more than that to me still and I pray safety, peace of mind, good health and comfort in these crazy times.
I’m still here for you no matter what.
You’re never alone. Even if you feel like you might be at times.
Okay. I’m done now.”

I don’t know what came over me.. I felt as if a huge wave came crashing over me and that I needed to tell you those words. Trust me.. I wanted to say a lot more. But I kept back as much as I could.
I still love you.

Last updated April 05, 2020