An Elder in Bittersweet

  • April 2, 2020, 2:08 p.m.
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So if you dont know TOO much about native culture. Elders are kinda pampered a lot. They get their way. They get to do what they want, They dont often listen to youngers and ignoring a female is pretty much par for the course.

Grandpa is a native elder. Hes going senile and he honestly forgets that we are on a shelter in palce order. He forgets that isnt supposed to go anywhere. He forgets that i tell him 2-3 times a day that he cant get on a bus and just meander around town. He just goes. He ignores what i say. Im a white female. I am native. But i look very white. He forgot today, that me and my parents ( who are in quarantine in a hotel) say DONT get on the bus. We told him they were not running. And that worked for almost 2 weeks. Then he saw a bus and now he knows they are running.
So this morning, before i get up, he sneaks out. Gets on a bus and is taking himself to the mall. The BIG mall. Which i guess hasnt shut down yet. My parents went and found him. At a bus station downtown. He took the bus, said lots of people were on it. Sigh.

You cant keep social distancing and avoid people and GO TO THE MALL. My parents told him again and again, dont take the bus. Take a shower every day (Hygiene is going down hill) Wash your hands lots, people are dying. He just turned 80 a couple months ago.
He is currently sitting on the couch eating lunch and just fell asleep with food in his mouth.... Sigh. See this is the hard part. Hes getting too old to take care of himself. I cant get a shopping list of things he wants and go to the store for him because he cant remember what he wants. He cant shop alone because he dosent know what he wants AND they wont allow helpers in with senior shoppers during shopping time.
So frustrating....

We know hes declining. Hes gotten worse in the last month or so. Its getting worse and I dont know what to do. I put a note on the door, dont take the bus. Ill take you to lunch every day.

He just dosent remember and that is when we are in a hard spot. :/

On the flip side, My parents may come home this weekend. They will have been away for 2 weeks. My dad was exposed at work the start of last week. They were going to sit till this weekend in the hotel. But with grandpa not listening to me, and my sister not coming out of her room. There isnt a heck of lot of options for who grandpa will listen to. My stepdad, his son, is prob the best bet. They also feel like if grandpa is just out there on every bus risking getting infected. What good is it that they sit in a hotel and spend a shit ton of money on the hotel room. They havent shown any symptoms of being sick at all yet… So fingers crossed not sick. At least if they come home, they could hole up in their room and just lysol the bathroom when they use it. And we can keep the doors closed. Not perfect… But cheaper..


Jinn April 02, 2020

Definitely cheaper and his son needs to be taking responsibility for him:-( . You already have your hands full .

ChainedChrysalis Jinn ⋅ April 02, 2020

Well im in my parents house. They were staying away to be safe. But if grandpa is going to be wandering then its no safer for them to be out.

Jinn ChainedChrysalis ⋅ April 02, 2020

True

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