Weirdness in Current Events

I had a fun day at work. I like the way things are going but I don’t trust the way things are going because they are going too good and I’m just trying not to feel like everything is just going to fall apart on me… the future is not written but I could prepare myself for it? Not emotionally like I’m used to doing but updating my resume and throwing it around online and bracing myself to apply for employment insurance should this good thing that is finally going good for me gets disrupted by this pandemic. Like, I put into EI and I should have applied for it when I lost my job in April of last year but I had an embarrassing belief that I would lose more respect from white people for being another native on assistance. I’ve been called a good native my whole life and I made the mistake of holding myself to that standard. Oops!

I called my mother with a question about my taxes and she ended up telling me about how much she doubts that my store will open and that I’ll even have a job by the end of the week. She basically spieled me on what to do when I lose my job and that I should be more ready this time around. She then asked me if I had a lot of Filipinos working at my store… I work in a very diverse part of the city which I love and which I am very proud of but I said that there were a few but I mostly work with a lot of white lesbians (not true) and she was like * oh they’re nice people*… wtf, who is this woman? Then somehow COVID-19 came up in conversation which was so weird because not one single person on this planet has ever brought it up in conversation before… anyways, she told me that her friend’s husband has all of the symptoms and that he is really sick but they won’t test him because he didn’t travel. The rest of her tangent felt like she was implying that they won’t test white people… Her racist boyfriend is rubbing off on her I think because my mother is not known to be this closed-minded. It was such a weird conversation. The old me would have been so triggered.

I’m not sure why race became such a big theme in this entry. Oh! That reminds me, as I was training in sales we discussed what to do when we suspect customers of stealing. Basically I do everything that is done to me when I’m profiled at other stores lol. Everybody got so uncomfortable when I brought that up. What? I own it now. I get the best absolute customer service. I can turn security into assistant shoppers lol.

So my city has taken self-isolation pretty seriously. Images were shown of our busiest places absolutely dead. We haven’t had any confirmed cases of COVID-19 but according to my mother and her racist boyfriend that is because they won’t test white people. Oh! nice-guy-Phil (absolute sweetheart of a human being who needs to be a national treasure) at work was talking about our government going into martial law and he was scared about losing his rights and I was like… awww, first time? I laughed, gays laughed, women laughed… he didn’t get the joke but he’s a straight cis white guy lol. Oh labels and the mess of it all.

This has been a weird entry. I kind of feel like my old self a bit. Anyways, I’m off to sleep.