Entries 67

Page 2 of 3

I’ve been hallucinating. Mostly it’s sounds, like music sounds. Xylophone or drum noises or like a popping, basketball bouncing, someone talking indistinctly, singing. It’s usually outside so I ...

---

It’s always been a while, right? I basically only come here when shit goes wrong. Sorry. I just feel like writing about the daily dolldrums would be non-productive for all parties. It’s coming up...

---

I have a job now. It’s even in the Health Science field, which is my undergrad degree. I am now an official Respiratory Scientist. I only have three subjects until I graduate. The Ian thing is ok...

---

I disappeared, sorry if that has worried anyone. I’m okay. Ian drove two hours in the following weekend, and the floodgates opened. He confessed to feeling dissociated from his daughter, and vehe...

---

On Sunday, I lost it. I melted down again at Ian, because he won’t communicate anything with me. He won’t even communicate that it is difficult to communicate. He just does and says nothing. He...

---

yep Dear Ian, I don’t know anymore. I need you to communicate with me. I don’t understand why words are so hard. I have had to say hard words.. I have been pushed to the brink where I was forced ...

---

Abnormal Pap results. Colposcopy scheduled, maybe a biopsy, and a swab for HPV but they’re pretty sure it’s a risky one because of the epithelial growth. Fuck. Sworn at by Ian because, tired of ...

---

IVF stimulation isn’t so bad. I had a couple of scans to count egg follicles and confused every sonographer because I have an IUD as well. “So… erm… how is this going to work, exactly?” ‘Oh no, ...

---

I had a whole day of panic yesterday after realising my cycle was starting. I checked the diary and it was due. That meant needles. Self administered needles. Today started needles and omg it wa...

---

We have $205 to feed us over the next two weeks and $672 in immediate bills. I don’t know what to do.

---

Supposed to be studying. I don’t think there’s much chance I’ll fit any more information about immunology into my brain so I’m just going to focus on what I already know and revise that. I need 5...

---

I was thinking earlier about how much of a cunt my brother is, but managed to suppress the impulse to type a cathartic rant about it by the time I got a spare moment to log in here. In the meanti...

---

One year ago, my friend gave birth to their Rainbow Baby (baby born after loss/miscarriage) after five rounds of IVF. And that was it for me. I had a friend in high school who suffered Endometrio...

---

Well, I went to therapy. It was balls. I mean it’s properly serious this time. The things I can disclose to friends jokingly like when my mum gave me her hand me down vibrator “because I bought m...

---

Here I am in the library again, hating at people. People are noisy and make smells. I had to sit at a desk up against a window so I am basically a live mannequin on a computer. I have a test in h...

---

Well, I was going to write something but then I read all of my bookmarks and now I’m here.. with one cold hand and one warm hand, waiting for Ian to arrive from 2 hours away so I can eat. He is l...

---

So prosebox has changed layout since six months ago. It’s so white and weird and clean so unlike the reason, I assume, people partake in blogs. ANYWHO I’m drunk again. Drunk-box. The cat is looki...

---

It’s been six months since last log in. I’m sorry. Also I’m a bit drunk. That Bearded Lady Moonshine is SO GOOD. But I switched to decent but cheap wine (Johhny Q 2014 Shiraz). Uni is okay. I thi...

---

It’s been six months since last log in. I’m sorry. Also I’m a bit drunk. That Bearded Lady Moonshine is SO GOOD. But I switched to decent but cheap wine (Johhny Q 2014 Shiraz). Uni is okay. I thi...

---

Well, it was slightly longer than a month before Dad started attempting contact. He started to call Ian as I continued to block and ignore his attempts. I felt I needed to offer an explanation, p...

---

I can no longer maintain contact with anyone in my family. Mum has too much control. I called my brother to ask he appologise for calling me horrible, and he went on this massive tirade about.. b...

---

My father always sends me a text when he is leaving to travel somewhere. And another text when he arrives. Instead, this time I get a photo message from my mother, of my nephew, and it is clear t...

---

I’m tipsy, so bear with me and my typos. I needed to start deciding about people whom use and hurt me. I am too forgiving and quite frankly, a door mat. So a few months ago when my neighbor abus...

---

Dear Mother, Well. I just don’t know. Lets start here: You guys harassed me for years to explain ‘the problem’. And when backed into a corner, I did, thrice. But it was like my voice was the b...

---

My scans were re scheduled to tomorrow. 12 hours from now I’m being prodded in the boobs. I had the brain CT last week while kids were at school. They said it was fine without injecting contrast,...

---