Waiting For Sunrise
Entries 61
Page 3 of 3
To Leave Unnoticed, Leave Nothing Behind. in And The Rest.
The walls are always too close at the moment, so close they’re crushing my ribs and I can’t breathe. I’ve always thought I was here on a short-term visa, on borrowed time; I was born flawed, born...
Trying To Explain Myself. in And The Rest.
There’s a hole in me somewhere, a bath with the plug left out, always empty, always drained. An emptiness inside me that means I am always just one push from caving in on myself like a dead tree ...
I Just Want Nothing, Nothing. in And The Rest.
Last night I dreamed of falling, just falling. I’m wasted, a mess, I’m shaking; I’m alone, again, as always. Black mascara tears down my face, my vision vodka-blurred soft-focus in the early-nigh...
You Waited. You Were Right. I Didn't Mean It. in Always Recovering, Never Recovered.
I want you back. You knew that, you know it, you were always waiting. You never left, you stood in shadows; I’ve come so far but I would undo it all for you. Unzip this skin, strip off the flesh ...
Surviving, Living. in Always Recovering, Never Recovered.
All my carefully constructed walls. All my defences. My everything, built on the shifting foundations of a DIY self-repair. All those moments, all those weaknesses. Everything I am, I lie before ...
But This Is What I Should Have Said, Dixy. in And The Rest.
Because when you are so ugly inside that you cannot stand the pain of introspection, like staring into the sun until your retinas burn, that monstrosity should be mirrored on the surface. It shou...
Addicted, Always. in Always Recovering, Never Recovered.
And this, here, is the flaw in me. The crack always there below the surface, soul-deep, painted over, boarded up, ignored but never fixed. I haven’t felt so sick in ages. Hot, sweating, frozen, s...
You’re a terrible friend, the worst friend I’ve ever had. You’re toxic; a poison that is always inside my head and clawing through my veins, always inside me, trying to destroy me from the inside...
The Truth of You, of Us. in Always Recovering, Never Recovered.
The truth isn’t pretty. The truth is losing myself to you, losing my mind in you, letting everything else slide away from me like marbles down the hillside, because nothing else matters like you ...
Countdown To Zero. in And The Rest.
Six months before, we had no idea. No idea that cancer was already growing in your brain, stealing you. In Wetherspoons with my boyfriend, getting happily half-drunk on rose wine at midday, midwe...
The Start of You, The End of Me. in Always Recovering, Never Recovered.
I know the exact moment I met your eyes for the first time, sat alone mid-morning on the rough blue carpet of my student room, three hundred miles from the safety of home. You came in uninvited, ...
