carmentheblue ⋅

~Curiosity epicurian~~Wonder-maker~~Eyes wide open~~Cards held close~

"Her ways were free, and it seemed to me, the sunshine walked beside her."

Townes Van Zandt

Entries 277

Page 8 of 12

I have a lot to pour out. The last few days have been trying, and pushing the boundaries of brings me to that dark turn of mind (lyrics written by Gillian Welch). At least now i can see the trigg...


June 14, 2016

Final Day in Random Thoughts

The bell just rang for all students to depart. This has been my favorite school year so far. I celebrated my 8th graders moving on to high school, knitted them little bookmarks as a small gift. I...


Last night i had a surprise date, and i am sorry to say- and i need to be honest- told a lie about why i couldn’t go on a previously scheduled date. It’s one of those things i need to work on and...


June 10, 2016

The end, house in Random Thoughts

Today is the last full day of school, though very little academics have been happening this week (much less the past 6 weeks since state testing started). All my meetings are done, official speci...


I wrote such an explicit entry that i had to place it in a private book, but here is a (somewhat tantalizing, though edited) version of that entry: I am so excited about Kyle PTM (Portland-Techie...


italics indicate tmi (somewhat) sexual content Friday i started an entry, but just ended up deleting it a second ago. Its nice to start an entry that is just stream of consciousness blather. not ...


May 26, 2016

Mama help me in Random Thoughts

Slightly explicit content in italics later on Just another song lyric, revisiting a 1990 album i discovered at the beginning of my (first attempt) at college in 1995. Edie Brickell and the New Bo...


May 23, 2016

prolific in Random Thoughts

with state testing underway (this is our third week), i have been prolific with my writing. and, i need it right now. i think i have never been so ready to be done with a school year as i have be...


Jeff Nichols has also directed 3 other independent films, two of which i have seen: Mud (starring Matthew McConaughey) and Take Shelter (starring Michael Shannon) and one i have not: Shotgun Stor...


May 22, 2016

Cocoon in Random Thoughts

Not the movie :) All I want to do, as I lay here wrapped in purple down comfort, is stay. In quiet. Alone. Warm. Protected (From what? By whom?) Feeling a little off, a little down. Not sure why,...


May 19, 2016

boysboysboys in Random Thoughts

Isn’t there an 80’s hair band song that might be appropriate here? Girls, Girls, Girls. So, i had a date last night. I have a date tonight. I had a date Monday. But, what constitutes a date? Last...


May 17, 2016

downdowndown in Random Thoughts

I got an estimate on how much money i would need to complete my house purchase. I should have known that i wasn’t ready- its more than i have. What option? Get into my 403B retirement account (i ...


May 16, 2016

Reverie in Random Thoughts

If you’d like to take a look at the house i put an offer on (it was accepted!), clickity-click: http://www.rmlsweb.com/v2/public/report.asp?type=AE&CRPT2=BgUFB2ddDnZaUVVYQF1cWQzDzD9AuGxLwqanJ...


Tuesday is date night with Jamie. I followed through with my promise (to myself and all of pbland) to talk. So. I did. We had a wonderful conversation that was lucid at points, non-sequitur at ot...


May 09, 2016

Breakdown in Random Thoughts

I will start with one of my favorite musicians, Tom Petty. I am not sure what it is about him, but his voice and music resonates with me. It makes me feel like i have lived a past adult life in t...


May 05, 2016

Meditation in Random Thoughts

“Remember that the mind is nothing but a contracted form of Consciousness and that if it gives up its awareness of being the mind, it will merge back into Consciousness again.” I put an offer on ...


Here i am, sitting quietly in my home, watching a BBC drama, Call the Midwife. Not very often do i have these quiet nights, i’ve been busy for months and months, it seems. Yoga, love, work, garde...


May 02, 2016

Dream State in Random Thoughts

Funny thing, i wrote this entry last week, but must have forgotten to post it. I may write about multiple dream states, one an actual dream, and another this blissful state ive been existing Its...


April 29, 2016

Cuddle Party in Random Thoughts

This morning I allowed myself to sleep till I woke up, which I needed. My six twenty waking was an hour or so later than I normally arise and I feel incredible groggy. The end of my sleep was rif...


March 30, 2016

This Moment in Random Thoughts

“This moment is perfect,” whispers, under-blankets, post-coital, eyes-closed, pressed-in, “when i think of everything we can do in the future, i am excited. When i recall the serendipitous way t...


March 15, 2016

Northern Sky in Random Thoughts

[Nick Drake’s Northern Sky] () I don’t know if this link will work, its the first time i have ever posted a link before. My morning was full of Nick Drake, and this insatiable emotion i carry wi...


I am so excited that i have surpassed my goal of one indie film per month. This time i had a date, Jamie! Oh, i am so glad he was with me, because this was such a scary movie!!! eerie music auth...


March 08, 2016

and he to i in Random Thoughts

Ugh. I am sick. But, looking on the positive side- i just had 4 days off work. Three of those were for a conference. I took 3 classes on the neuropsychology of learning disabilities. The, i left...


Filmspotting, my favorite film podcast, reviewed this movie a few weeks ago and had rave reviews for the leading lady, Charlotte Rampling. This is a quiet, slice of life film about a couple about...


February 16, 2016

Confliction in Random Thoughts

I spent a lovely 4 day weekend driving for many hours to see family and spend a birthday with my sister. She turned 36 last Thursday and i turned 39 Friday. I think its the first adult birthday w...


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