kiduse2dream

I have always been a dreamer. I dreamed I would get to star in a sitcom. I dreamed I'd be in a movie. I dreamed I could play stadiums to a sell out crowd. I tried to take opportunities but they were always just out of reach. What I have left is to write about what never was.

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I have a lot of prep work for some things I’ll be doing later this week. I’ve been writing and doing research since last Thursday. I’m thankful for AI but I’ve been a bit nervous because I found...


....to make an entry but I also have all these words running thru my mind. Today, I worked for 14 hours. That’s insane! What is worse is that I didn’t even realize it until I walked away from ...


I work with an organization that helps people that can no longer work try to apply for disability through the government. That means that everyone on the team must work for free until the claims...


I spent 4 straight days traveling in a 15 passenger van and playing 5 shows. I received word on day 1 that my best friend’s mom had passed away. Because his wife’s family were out of town they d...


I did 5 programs in 4 days and a couple thousand miles of road time.. The crew stopped for lunch at this fried catfish and seafood place. There was a bit of a wait and I was entertaining every...


I’m ultimately sitting in the “in-between.” I’m not depressed, sad or upset - but I’m not happy. My task is to recognize what feeling has gone silent that I wish would come back? At first, the v...


Lately, I have been extremely busy and at the same time accomplishing absolutely nothing. The lifestyle change with my eating has me down 18 lbs. Management is almost happy. They have booked a...


Took an out of town road trip. Drove to my favorite place and decided to hang out a few days. I went to see the F1 movie in IMAX - well worth it. I was waiting for the movie and was sitting in...


I’ve been doing a lot of personal work lately — emotionally, mentally, even spiritually — and I realized that some of what I shared in my last post may have hit harder or landed differently than...


Today, I learned a new word. The word is- “Fawning.” Apparently, this is my personality. According to the resources I have been looking into, it is also a survival mechanism. That’s right, I’m...


Lately, I’ve been trying to see myself how others see me. I’m very one tracked. I can’t juggle relationships or friendships outside of social media apparently. I’ll mostly always be there for an...


Friday afternoon I set out by myself to sit in with band at a friend’s request. They hired me to play keyboard for the night and after driving two hours the venue forgot the keyboard promised so...


Management and PR has me on this clean eating diet to satisfy their upcoming photoshoot and social media push. I was nominated for a couple of awards in Nashville later this year. Tonight, I fin...


Recently, I stumbled upon a revelation that growing up I would be rewarded for invisibility. The more I stayed out of the way, the more I was rewarded. It makes so much sense now. Even now, as a...


I spent the last few days withholding my humorous (to only me) sarcasm and biting my tongue to keep from saying something she doesn’t like. I did this for, maybe a moment we don’t normally get. ...


The way my brain works is a mystery sometimes. The thoughts that run through it, that I keep to myself, make me wonder. When I was a kid I had a very vivid imagination. I believed that we were b...


I have a busy and hectic day on Wednesday and here I am wide awake. I was supposed to be in bed 3 hours ago. I’ve laid my phone down, turned off the television - did all the Jedi mind tricks I c...


A lot of what I do depends on image whether I want to admit it or not. I took control of it 7 years ago and almost let it get away from me again. I keep having to remind myself that I am definit...


Played a show and had a guy walk up after and asked if he could pray for me but before he did shared something with me. He looked me into the eye and said - there’s a song you are going to write...


I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a recovering introvert, but I’m not fully recovered. There are parts of me that the introvert still exists. I’ve been told that’s the part that makes me the f...


Does anyone remember these? When I was a kid one of my hobbies was hitting the magazine aisle of the store while my mom shopped for groceries. I would go through Mad, Hits, Guns, and anything el...


When I was a teenager I found it way too easy to believe I loved any girl that looked at me and caused that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. I had no proper role model to teach me other...


Lately, for whatever reason, my diet has taken a backseat to emotional eating. I feel myself slipping. I’ve been doing so well over the last 6 years and lately I have been slacking. I have a f...


I played a show tonight that took me 2 hours from home. It was a restaurant venue. They told me after that there was 15 people there. Before the show, I was eating a ton of humble pie. The last ...


....and I’m afraid, it’s not good. I am finding myself not eating right lately - and it’s more so out of emotional issues. I’m noticing an extra amount of procrastinating too and it’s like I’m ...


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