Humbie Lowden
Entries 27
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Heavy bass lines in 100 words
A slightly incompetent jazz band, a cell phone with a dead battery and a pair of dice. That's all I've got ('cepting Esmerelda) to keep me entertained. Locked away for days now. It's not so bad, ...
They guy in Toronto could have been on Beijing, Barcelona or Botswana time and who says you can’t eat a hamburger for breakfast. Go to the Beijing airport in 45 minutes, from breakfast to the ai...
Juror number eight in 100 words
The jury was made up with 11 women and me. I wondered why I was chosen. Why am I the token male. What question did I get wrong. I tried my best to fail the questions to get onto the jury. I went ...
Tinkering with time in 100 words
Woke up with the sun streaming through the window and a boner a pee-on. My lips covered in a thin layer of smegma. I get up make the coffee, feed the dog and put on Songza - disco hits from the 7...
Dead man's wine in Thoughts on thoughts
There were good days and bad days. On the good days, someone died. On the bad days, the cafeteria in the basement served mystery meat. Today was a good day, Mr Marshall in Room 4 took his last b...
On the porch with a dead clown and a hot pizza in 300+
A clown was dead on the front porch, his rubber nose filled with cocaine, and the pizza guy was late. The party was over. It had been a mistake, parties always are. It’s much better just to go to...
Schwartz and Schwartz in Lead dog
What the radio told me. I left Bangladesh and headed for some higher ground. Bangladesh is basically a flood plain. I was in my cot in the guest house in Katmandu, when I got the next key. It sa...
Bangladesh in Lead dog
I decide traveling with Peter is a complete waste of time. He’s not the pathway to the key. He’s just a confused young man who makes bad choices. He is a guy who lives by whim. he doesn't think. ...
Food, laundry and other functions in Lead dog
Have you ever been to a Japanese restaurant where there is a little train that goes around the track. It’s been a number of years since we've had them in North America but they have them in Taipe...
living behind a tree in Lead dog
Is this the way to the lake? The traffic cop nods affirmatively. He’s got a big daddy moustache and a beret. We ride on and on and on we ride into the Rajasthani Desert on bikes that are older th...
India? 1986? in Lead dog
Alright let's just step back and see where we are. First of all, the little white dog in the park called Barney was with the girl with the yellow high tops and yellow bandana. That’s where it al...
Now that she could speak, her lack of personality was a little disappointing. in Lead dog
November 4 As quickly as I could I bought lottery tickets, 649, Super Seven, every one that allowed me to pick my own numbers. The next day I checked and I had won $10,000 in the Super Seven - ...
Now that she could speak, her lack of personality was a little disappointing. in Lead dog
November 4 As quickly as I could I bought lottery tickets, 649, Super Seven, every one that allowed me to pick my own numbers. The next day I checked and I had won $10,000 in the Super Seven - ...
Movember in Thoughts on thoughts
No. It’s November. If you want to grow a mustache, go right ahead. If you’re raising money for something that’s fine too. But I’m not participating. It is stupid.
We don’t like cats, but we’re not God in Lead dog
The first key was in Toronto at the base of the CN Tower. Chichi told me one morning that I’d find it there. I’d gotten up and was drinking coffee, looking at the internet, a morning routine that...
Lois enters the story (already) in Lead dog
At this point of the story, I’m tempted to tell you what I look like and how old I am and all that stuff, all that fluff - my name, where I came from, how I think. I’m not going to do that. I don...
One: If you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes in Lead dog
I guess this is as good a place to start as any. I’m getting close. I’m near the end. I think it was Kurt Vonnegut who said that you should start the story as close to the end as possible. Here ...
longboarding over golf in 300+
I don’t like golf. Weird. I got my first set of clubs for my 13th birthday but I don’t enjoy the game. I think it’s expensive. I think it’s overrated. I don’t like the golf culture, the new one o...
Telephone call from Haida Gwaii in 100 words
Dan called. I was listening to Thelma Huston’s “Don’t leave me this way”, and sipping on an extra-sweet cup of coffee. He said he was getting nervous about the trip to Shanghai. He asked me if I...
The appeal of drinking is huge. It makes me feel happy just thinking about it. Give me a tallboy. The highballs are on me. Let’s have a glass of wine and sit by the fire. I’ll get my hands on y...
It’s been a while but I’m going back to Shanghai. I’ll be there in October, maybe a week, ten days tops. I’m going to keep moving this time. I won’t have to shoehorn myself out of there like last...
Creamy days of cheese and saltines in 300 Words
Lois used to say, “if it fits, then it’s suppose to go there”. I lost touch with her after she took up with that flashy and fleshy realtor, wore cargo pants all winter and summer, with business ...
Rotten peaches and cooked dryer loads in 100 words
The factory is always hot and humid. The sun goes down and with the machines running, we slip out the side doors, catching a breeze, having a smoke, the night sky looking like a rotten peach, sme...
Laying there in the sawdust, I knew things would never be the same. in 100 words
Big toe got better. Can’t feel it. Never really could. Antiseptic cream, a big band-aid took care of it. It looks tougher now. It’ll have a scar. When I was growing up, there was a family that ...
Tuesday is garbage day.Comes early. Often while I’m still in bed with my morning boner and sweet wispy dreams, I hear that stinky beast farting and groaning past my house on Euclid Avenue. It cho...
