Tinkering with time in 100 words

Woke up with the sun streaming through the window and a boner a pee-on. My lips covered in a thin layer of smegma. I get up make the coffee, feed the dog and put on Songza - disco hits from the 70’s. It’s 8am, no it’s 9am. We have tinkered with time. We have just entered Daylight Savings Time, a misnomer. I don’t how we are saving time, by changing time. It should be called Daylight Changing Time. Saskatchewan has it right. They don’t change. The centre of Canada and they don’t change. Why do we?