Memorabilia
Entries 47
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Pavlov's dog in It's happened, what now.
You’ve turned me into pavlov’s dog And I don’t quite know how You’ve turned me into pavlov’s dog My training started with the vow I haven’t seen you for quite some time Yet, somehow the trainin...
Just one more in It's happened, what now.
If I could have just one more I’d do it in a minute I’d jump at any chance I got To feel and smell and live it If I could hold your tiny body Small and wet and new I’d close my eyes and hold yo...
Well that didnt go as planned in Attempting to journal
So last update, I mentioned that my daughter had been arrested, that apparently was the Tip of the iceberg. She spent the night in jail and my aunt called me and said she believed she was having...
I might like this in Attempting to journal
Well, I think i might be starting to like Journaling. I feel like I can talk about what’s going on without the pressure or worry about the other person. When you tell real people about crappy th...
Life update in Attempting to journal
Wow I didn’t realise it had been 8 months since I last tried to journal. That makes it easier because usually I struggle to know what to say to a faceless computer but so much has happened. We d...
Stuck in It's happened, what now.
I can’t fix this I truly wish I could I can’t kiss away the boo boo If i could I really would When you were oh, so tiny Small and weak and pure You cried at your discomfort And I administered ...
Hidden Emotion in Memories.....or lack thereof...
I feel like i am playing A game all by myself I have find the hidden emotion Thats stuck up on the shelf This game, it isn’t easy There always tricks and traps Like no one ever tells you Where...
I wish in Chronic illness
I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired I wish it would all go away I wish that my body could simply get fired I’d get a new body to stay I wish that my normal could decide What it would l...
Innocence missed in Memories.....or lack thereof...
There are things I wish I never knew Aspects of what makes you, you Things that crawl down deep inside The things that you believe you hide I long for days when it was simple When I wasn’t much ...
Money anxiety in Attempting to journal
So I did it. I bit the dust and purchased a roadside assistance membership. I have wanted one for years, I am stuck driving shitty disposable vehicles and every winter I find myself in at least o...
Attempt #4, maybe succeeding? in Attempting to journal
Trigger Warning, miscarriage/baby loss Oh it has been crazy, I feel like I’ve been stuck in a washer on spin cycle. So Friday my daughter had cramping and spotting. So off to the urgent care we g...
Mothers day in Memories.....or lack thereof...
It’s mothers day today I thought of you a lot I wanted to tell you all the things I learned from what you taught I learned my pain was shameful Secret, dirty, bad That I must also be at fault Fo...
Attempt to journal #3....more successful? in Attempting to journal
Well it has been a whirl wind last couple of days. My oldest (22yrs) came home Sunday for a visit because she had been struggling with depression because she couldn’t find a job where she was. Be...
Attempt to journal #2 in Attempting to journal
I am determined to write a journal-Like entry come hell or high water. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for me i’ve never struggled with literary stuff. I got high marks in everything language arts ...
I'm ok in Memories.....or lack thereof...
I’m ok, no really There’s nothing wrong, at all See me smile brightly? I’m truly walking tall I’m ok, no really My smile never slips I’ll never show you what inside My picture never tips I’m ok,...
Today in Attempting to journal
I had so much hope to start the first one off strong but I can’t get what I want to write down on paper. Like it’s stuck..so I’m going to do a prompt instead. I feel powerless when.... All the ...
Questions 29 and 30 in 100 questions about me
Write about a way in which you are very different from a parent. I think the parent I differ from the greatest is my mother. She is very worried about fitting in, about being accepted,, about h...
Questions 27 and 28 in 100 questions about me
Write about when you think it’s morally acceptable to lie. If your answer is “never,” write about why you think that. I think it acceptable to lie only if it’s for a morally redeeming reason AN...
Inner child in Memories.....or lack thereof...
She huddles in the dark It’s black, it’s empty, it’s void She’s small in only rags Utterly destroyed The sounds are fully absent Nothing fills the air Aside from tiny sniffles From underneath h...
Angry in Memories.....or lack thereof...
It’s so odd to feel this way. I’m 41 now and for the first time that I remember, I’m angry about what happened to me. It changed tonight. Yesterday I didn’t have any feelings toward my brother ab...
Questions 25 and 26 in 100 questions about me
Do you think your hometown is a good place to live? Why or why not? I don’t really have a hometown. I have moved too many times to feel like I have roots that remain in a town even after I’m go...
Questions 23 and 24 in 100 questions about me
Describe a part of your job or everyday work that you loathe As I mentioned previously I do not work, so it’s kinda hard to answer these ones. That being said, the part of my motherly duties that...
I wish i knew you in Memories.....or lack thereof...
I have a younger sister I dearly wish I knew We grew up together Then far apart we grew. We had the same experience The life I cannot know She gets all of the knowledge And I get all the snow I’...
Me, but also...not me in Memories.....or lack thereof...
I wish I understood any part of myself. I think that might be the one thing that bothers me most about having no memories. I don’t feel like there’s any part of myself that I really understand, e...
Questions 21 and 22 in 100 questions about me
Is your home usually neat or usually messy? Why is that? Do you think it matters? Why or why not? My home is usually messy. It is much better than it was. My ex husband has a lot of horder ten...