Entries 3,460

Page 85 of 139

1.) They’re trying to say they’re alt-punctuation but we all know they’re just the same old grammar Nazis. 2.) I would give a show starring Mindy Kaling and Bjork called “Bjork and Mindy” a chanc...

---

1.) You could do worse than rewriting classic rock into socialist manifestos and performing as Red Zeppelin, I s’pose. 2.) As long as Trump enforces the GOP leadership’s vulture capitalism disman...

---

1.) The good thing about chasing something with no monetary collectors’ value like VHS of Jerry Maguire is that you can go on a thrift binge, like today, and even if you don’t get anything else, ...

---

1.) I want a David Lynch cookbook called “Fire Wok With Me”. 2.) How did it take me thirty-eight years to realize “Roadhouse Blues” and “Truckin” were the exact same song? 3.) If you don’t have a...

---

1.) I mean, sure, if I knew how to hack and mod video games, I would definitely make THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: THE MACARENA OF TIME but you can’t build up this much pun acuity while also learning how ...

---

1.) Maybe the reason we haven’t met any aliens yet is that there’s a mass extinction at the point in every civilization once anti-vax psychotics start popping up en masse and we just haven’t tipp...

---

1.) Is there a saint of the in-between places, of transitional states? Is there a saint of Limbo? Is there a saint for the truckstops? All I’m saying is, I’m not the most busy person these days, ...

---

1.) Half the problem is cowardly journalists covering a “president” with no democratic legitimacy as if he is actually the president. The emperor almost literally has no clothes. The minute telev...

---

1.) The icicles on the trees, that’s just branch dressing. 2.) Always wonderful to be at an open mic instead of worrying about the Oscars. Washing out in L.A. had its benefits after all. 3.) Your...

---

1.) This bag of Hershey Miniatures is challenging my low-carb diet so badly. There’s a little jerk in me who keeps yelling “RELEASE THE KRACKLE” and I have to keep punching him in the face with m...

---

1.) If the human race survives without another dark age, in a couple hundred years, they’ll look upon our culture’s holy veneration of the gun, our American cult of death, the same way we look up...

---

1.) The NRA doesn’t care about you, they just want to sell more guns. The NRA doesn’t care about safety or the Bill of Rights or human lives or their own members, they just want to sell more guns...

---

1.) No British food stuff sounds more like a made-up food stuff from a 90s science-fiction series than “Jaffa Cakes”. You can totally see Quark selling jaffa cakes alongside that Klingon coffee “...

---

1.) It is weird to get reprimanded on a website for pointing out that Tim Tebow is an opportunistic hatemonger while he is only rewarded for being as such. The parallels to Cadet Bone Spurs are n...

---

1.) In this nightmare, I was stuck in a time loop of being shot to death at a composite of a few different shopping malls. Every time I died, I returned to the start of the dream and every time, ...

---

1.) The fact that the porno movie awards aren’t called The Peephole’s Choice Awards is one of our culture’s great hidden sins. 2.) I swear to God, actual cable news headline “Is Arming Teachers A...

---

1.) Your sitcom about people trying to be Portland/Austin/Williamsburg/Echo Park-style hipsters in a city too small to sustain a full scene will be called NOISY, IDAHO. 2.) What’s that flower tha...

---

1.) Claudia Tenney is an almost impossibly horrible human being and if you’re planning to waste your vote on a third party candidate instead of voting for the Democratic candidate because you req...

---

1.) Just because the lines on a map are useful in a transitory way, that doesn’t make them real. Most of the things the lines represent are made up too. The roads and the buildings exist, of cour...

---

1.) I await the day when Nightvale uses Built To Spill’s “The Weather” as The Weather. 2.) Whenever someone on Twitter uses the hashtag #MUA for a make-up artist, my brain first thinks they’re on...

---

1.) The snow, like life, seems like a tedious hassle to be endured until you stand back, take a breath, clear your head and let yourself see how goddamned beautiful it is. 2.) feels like I’m doin...

---

1.) Defending AR-15 ownership by saying “well, you CAN hunt with them!” is as asinine as saying you should get to own a nuke because you CAN hunt with them. If you’re such a tough butch survivorm...

---

1.) No one’s exclusively introverted or extroverted, we’re all some of one and some of the other. We’re all bioverted, really, false binaries fail us once again, as usual. 2.) facebook memories, ...

---

1.) Say whatcha will about spending 25 years suppressing my anger into sadness so that I wasn’t overwhelmed with rage, yeah yeah, we could write books about the few pros and many cons of my ad-ho...

---

1.) I’ll let the dog think he protected me from that snowplow he barked at for five minutes. “Oh yeah, Ollie, you totally scared off the monster.” 2.) Y’know, maybe it’s just me but I’ve lost my ...

---