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1.) If there’s moral, immoral and amoral, are there mature, immature and amature? Can we all be amature? 2.) I want at least two “Or Lando, Florida” jokes when they expand the Star Wars section a...

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1.) There should be a lawyer in Mortal Kombat who wins on TECHNICALITY! 2.) Yeah, performers are insecure but everyone’s insecure, performers are just the ones who wrestle with it publicly, messe...

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1.) In the end, if they were gonna vote for the twit who starred in BEDTIME FOR BONZO, yes, they’ll vote for the “You’re Fired” guy. 2.) Just once I want a city or state’s pitch to draw in filmma...

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1.) Monks communicate online via Snapchant. 2.) The idea of the US and Cuba “normalizing relations” is funny because there is no way to normalize anyone I’m related to. 3.) Man walks into a bar. ...

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1.) The hope is Trump tries to announce Billy Fuccillo as his Vice President then breaks down laughing, admitting it was all a gag. 2.) Everyone’s afraid of a robot uprising, I’d be a lot more af...

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1.) Idaho: We Are Not Actually A Ho 2.) Rhode Island: Neither in Rhodes Nor An Island Actually A Legume 3.) Utah: A Vacation Wonderland, Bring The Wives And Kids 4.) New Jersey: Interesting Pl...

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1.) The proper response to “Scott Baio endorses Donald Trump” is “I honestly thought Scott Baio died like five years ago.” 2.) MOVIE FLUB: some characters in COMMANDO appear to be wearing underwe...

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1.) They couldn’t fight off two eagles at once so they drugged the first to make it easier to kill two birds with one stoned. 2.) Watch a movie from the 40s or 50s and loudly comment whenever men...

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1.) The things that you think you are beautiful in spite of are the things that actually make you beautiful. 2.) There is a direct correlation between childhood exposure to “The Charlie Brown Chr...

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1.) The best way to convince others that you are deep and cryptic, of course, is to have no idea what you mean yourself. 2.) To be a metamorph is a solid super power, to be a mediamorph, less so....

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1.) Bees are divided into queens and everyone else, the hives and the hive-nots. 2.) It’s not so much that I have a thing for city girls, it’s more that country girls aren’t into my non-rural ski...

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1.) Which do you think Harrison Ford put less energy into: the Bladerunner ADR work or the Star Wars Holiday Special? 2.) Someone either write a movie about a thinly-veiled Jake Lloyd growing up ...

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1.) Does the pope wear his silly hat to the toilet? He mitre might not. 2.) If your erotic satire of G.I. Joe isn’t called K.Y. Joe, you’re doing it wrong. 3.) Setting aside the things of youth t...

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1.) Cats put their videos of humans being stupid up on mewTube. 2.) Certain is a lady fair how glitt’ring means a golden truth and strides she there a flight of steps t’ward where the mighty ange...

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1.) From whence doth thou spring forth, Joseph of the Cottoned-Eye, to whence dost thou tarry? If not for thee, surely would I be trothed. 2.) It really is annoying when Dr. Oz heart surgeon pret...

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1.) Scientologist porn involves many bawdy thetans. 2.) Astronaut sex is all about the zero-g spot. 3.) The King of Pop did not die, not in the way you know it, rather he split up into thousand o...

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1.) In my dreams, whenever I go to a movie, time folds and I forget everything in the film and have to pretend I saw it for the duration. 2.) That trailer for Captain America has me saying “Under...

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1.) John Cena’s always wiping his nose as he takes the stage, he should have the money to get his sinuses looked at. 2.) If you’re in a pinch during a role playing session, yell “FEATS DON’T FAIL...

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1.) The best way to never have your plans fall apart is to never have plans but that of course creates its own set of problems. 2.) Re-contextualize the show SEINFELD as if the lead were Dracula’...

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1.) A parody that would be too much work for too few people who’d get the joke: “Alice’s Restaurant” about Phalluses Restaurant. 2.) Did Zootopia have a concert by a furry version of the Foo Figh...

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1.) If you’re gonna sit in the front at a comedy show or wrestling match, wear something interesting they can riff off, it’s only fair. 2.) The joke would involve football player Tom Brady, the G...

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1.) You get the feeling that Trump is more a self-aggrandizing used car salesman like Cobra Commander but Cruz would be Serpentor, burning the world down to get to Jesus-La. 2.) You know what’ll ...

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1.) Yoga pants? Baby, I don’t know if I could pull off yogurt pants. 2.) Is there a joke about sloths being into the slow-food movement or is there no room in Zootopia for anything other than fur...

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1.) If we found out that George Lucas’s unrequited high school love was named Mindy Chlorian, everything would finally make sense. 2.) Really liking “It’s A Wonderful Life” is called Capraphilia....

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1.) L Ron Hubbard is Spanish for “The Ron Hubbard”. 2.) Let’s have a re-edit of the Suicide Squad trailer with the Young Ones’ metal parody band “Bad News” intentionally-terrible version of Bohem...

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