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the lovecraftian horror of it all
Hofstader explains how meaning arises from meaningless elements, through a process of recursion and self reference, in the book Godel Escher Bach- an extraordinary work that I must confess I onl...
A long time ago, longer now than it seems...
…in a place that perhaps you’ve dreamed in your teens. I caught a whiff of something the other day half way through a random bedroom in this cottage I was working in. Best I can describe is a k...
Memory? It's overrated
At some point when you ponder the unlikely experience of living for significantly longer than a human being should live, such as Forever, it crosses your mind that such an experience would drive...
Blue Dreams
All I want to do right now is fuck the woman I love before falling asleep inside her. I want to put her on top of me and watch that look of overwhelmed sensation and pleasure wash across her fa...
Cooking with anticlimatic...
If I could sum up the core of my inner child’s needs, like most human beings I expect, it would be as a fragment yearning for a whole. There’s a number of ways to take this, and a number of them...
how to love
I know almost nothing about the youth. I have zero Gen Z peers, and most millennials younger than me (all of them except the first batch) are people that I can’t stand on a fundamental level. Bu...
Suddenly, life has new meaning.
There is an inherent irony to things. Destruction. Violence. Analytical disassembly. These things feel at odds with the natural flow of life- like a harsh interruption and abrupt pivot away. ...
Time it was and what a time it was
I did far too much driving today, and towards the tail end, when it was in the dark, my brain began to muddle. I thought back to life in my teenage years. All the things I thought were interesti...
Where Grownups Play
I feel like I’ve never lived a life. Like I’ve been trapped in the lobby of some casino, or game, unable to find a door I could fit through to get into the main floor. I know it’s in there. ...
The cost of being good
“No good deed goes unpunished” is not an ironic reflection. It is a mathematical certainty I fear. I like the different psychological models that set up a binary in the psyche- conscious/subcon...
The Call of the Corner Store
Autumn languor has taken hold. There are more things in my life that either need work or need radical change than there are things I want to keep static and cozy through the long dark of the co...
Speak Friend And Enter
This afternoon I spent some time cleaning out my vehicle for the first time in a couple years. I removed every single item from the cab, vacuumed it out, and put it back together with some sembl...
The Thrill of Camaraderie
Met my brother out at the Old Trail Tavern north of Goodhart, along remote shore drive. Or what used to be the Old Trail Tavern. Since the 50s I believe, it’s been just a residence- no longer a ...
community warmth in the night
I live in a small town, but the cabin on the beach that I share with my brothers a couple hours north across the Mackinaw Bridge is in a much smaller village. The whole of the business district ...
Gabriel's Pond
Accidentally shot my schedule in the face today, while at work, and fell into some unintended free time. And while the gears in my head were spinning along with my proverbial wheels trying to co...
Being Present
I have heard of this practice for a long while, but always had a hard time understanding what it meant exactly- until recently, after randomly opening up to one of my customer’s Nephews (in his ...
Poor Kid
Yesterday, at the exact same time I was swimming in the exact same lake, 20 miles away, a 14 year old boy who was swimming where I used to swim when I was 14 drowned. He and a friend got caught ...
scent of laundry
I was out riding and meditating after dark tonight, testing my memory by recalling things I hadn’t recalled in a long while, when suddenly I got hit with a very potent shadow of a memory. An ope...
An Interest In Mortality
I pursue an interest in history to attempt to understand mortality, I think. Not world history, far removed from anything empirical or useful, but local history- or the history of wherever I hap...
Are we religious, inherently?
I struggle to make sense of humanity. Partly because I’m an idiot, and partly because humanity eludes sense on the regular. Self awareness seems illusory. Like, it feels like we can see ourse...
The ghost of the great highway returneth
My siblings and I all share a family cabin we’ve had for 30 years, up in a remote part of Upper Peninsula, five miles west of a tiny dead-end village along “the scenic” highway, on a beautiful b...
Fucking Boomers
I was navigating some narrow buoys, bringing my little aluminum boat back to the dock, when I reached for my beer to take one last sip before it was all hands on deck with ropes and such, an...
Who am I, Gamling?
As the world evolves and everything I know becomes just a system of memory shared with my fellow generational travelers, I must say it’s hard to identify myself. The culture and times in which o...
July 4th, but there was a time...
I spent my 4th of July playing host to my good friend from out of town, which included an entire rushed BBQ performance by yours truly at 8:00 PM, after a two hour drive and a huge family BBQ I ...
When night falls
Is it true that hippies are assholes larping as nice people, and goths are nice people larping as assholes? Because even though I am not particularly into metal, especially black metal, I canno...
